The Terrible XMen Crackfic, as renamed by Bree
by Stevethewondercat
Summary: We're going to crush you all, I apologize. This fic is discontinued, as we're writing a version that goes along with our original plan... the one we came up with while emerging from the theatre after the movie ended  which had a plot.  Will be more srs.
1. Recruits? Where!

**Well, hi! This is BlitzPrinzessin and 2hippie4u, teaming up to write a fanfiction for:**

**X-Men: First Class, which is so ttly one of the best movies ever.**

**There are three main original characters in this, so if you don't like OC/Canon person, then this isn't for you. It usually isn't for Blitzie either, but I'm doing this anyways. :) I hope you enjoy it. And I really hope that this doesn't seem too out of character. Or OOC at all. Please review and tell either of us if it is!**

**and cause hippie's alll FFFFFFFF YOU NEED A DISCLAIMER:**

**We own nothing.**

**I do not own Havok. This makes Blitzie disappoint.**

**And Hippie doesn't own Magneto. Creys.**

**And our buddy Kara, who isn't writing this, doesn't own the professor. Even though at the movie theater when Hippie and Blitzie were chanting "KISS!" at all of the Magneto/X scenes, she shouted "MAH PROFESSOR!1!", she doesn't own him.**

**But since they're called OCs for a reason,**

**we own Briana Thompson, Kahlin Charles, and Hadley whatever her last name is.**

**Cheerio mates~**

**ohyeah. if charles's wheeeeeelchair doesn't make it obvious enough, this is about a week or two AFTER the events of x-men first class.**

**cheerio agian.**

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><p><strong>PRINCETON UNIVERSITY<strong>

**1963**

For such a large school, the dorm Charles Xavier was in front of seemed too tiny to be a part of Princeton University. He pressed two fingers to his forehead, searching, and nodded when he struck what he was looking for.

After making sure no one was around to bother him, Professor X wheeled into the dorm, pausing for a split second to look around at the doors surrounding him. First floor: not what he was looking for.

His eyes fell on the stairs and a disgusted expression crossed his usually optimistic features. "Damn those stairs," Charles muttered, wheeling over and surveying his obstacle.

"Excuse me, do you need some help?"

Charles' target was standing in front of him. A freshman at college, he had learned while searching for recruits. A girl with straight brown hair, a wide smile, and, he noted, one green eye and one brown. "No, thank you," he told her. "I've found what I needed."

Her puzzled look made him laugh. "The first stair?" she asked slowly.

"No, actually." Charles paused and smiled. "Heterochromia," he told her, "a genetic mutation. Although, I do believe you've heard this before, Miss Thompson? Or do you prefer your nickname, Bree?"

Bree's face paled. "How do you know me?" the freshman stammered. _Why,_ _you're just like me,_ Charles said in his head, directing the thoughts toward her.

**You can do this too?** Bree replied back, not realizing they were communicating nonverbally until her eyes widened. "Shit," she whispered. "I guess so." Professor Xavier laughed. _Language, Miss Briana. I was just wondering if you have any other tricks up your sleeve?_

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><p><strong>MIAMI, FLORIDA<strong>

**STILL 1963**

There was a plane parked on the beach. Beast really had nowhere else in close proximity to put it, so the regular humans were stuck without sand and sharks for a few hours.

He was standing in front of a small house and was about to knock on the door. Charles had directed him here, explaining about a female mutant.

Beast knocked once on the door, then a second time when no one answered. After a minute or so, he rapped his knuckles on the door a third time, growing slightly impatient.

"King Kong?"

The voice came from behind him, but when Beast spun around, he was met with scenery. No humans.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess you're not King Kong. He isn't blue. Or is he? I don't really know; I saw it in black and white, after all."

The air in front of Beast shimmered, and a girl with long, curly blonde hair smiled at him. "Kahlin Charles," she said cheerily, sticking out a hand. "And who are you, Charles Darwin?"

After hearing the name Darwin, Beast deflated a bit, but took Kahlin's hand and shook it. "Hank McCoy," he told her. "But my fellow mutants call me Beast."

Kahlin looked down at his apelike feet, then back up at his furry blue face, and laughed. "I can understand that, Hank." She turned to walk away, and the air shimmered again. She was gone a minute later.

Two blue eyes stared at Beast from the scenery in front of him. "That's pretty nifty, Kahlin," he said slowly, surveying the human chameleon. Every time she shifted, the colors of her body would morph to adapt to her surroundings, hiding her completely.

He held a hand out, and an invisible one clutched it. The hand holding his automatically turned the same shade of blue as his skin. "Do you think you could come with me?" Beast asked her, tugging the chameleon along. "I need to show you something."

* * *

><p><strong>WESTCHESTER, NEW YORK<strong>

**ONE DAY AFTER BOTH OF THOSE EVENTS**

**NOT 1964 YET, SORRY**

Bree and Charles were sitting in a diner, called 'The Grahm Cracker', eyeing each other warily. "So," Bree said casually, "you're telling me there are loads of people with differences? Mutants, you said?"

Charles nodded, then glanced around. "Why did you pick this particular diner to eat at?" he asked. Bree smiled. "Remember when we stopped and I got marshmallows and chocolate?" He nodded. "Well," the college student laughed, "I was hoping I could get some grahm crackers. S'mores are the best, you know!"

Shaking his head, Charles sighed. "What did I get into when I decided to track you down?" he asked dryly. "A whole lot of fun!" Bree said cheerfully. She turned around and smiled. "Look," she noted, "our waitress is coming with drinks."

The waitress, a redheaded young woman with piercing grey eyes, was holding two drinks. "Here you go," she said with a slight Brooklyn accent, "a Coke for the girl, and a coffee for the man."

With the coffee set in front of its recipent, the waitress went to set the Coke down. As she put it in front of Bree, a small spark shot out of her hand and into the glass. The soda immediately started bubbling and fizzing furiously as another spark shot out, adding to the mix.

The Coke, turned into almost complete fizz, practically exploded as it shot up out of the glass, splattering anyone within a ten foot radius with sticky liquid.

_Bree_, Charles had two fingers pressed against his temple, eyeing the girl in front of him suspiciously, _what was that?_ Bree smiled impishly, head tilted to the side. **I read your thoughts**, she mused, **and I saw something about an electrokinetic. You honestly couldn't have believed that story about crackers, could you?**

The two exchanged a look, and Charles nodded as the waitress began rambling. "I am so, so, _so_ sorry!" she squeaked. "My manager is going to **kill** me! I'll clean it up!"

**Wait**. The waitress stopped in her tracks as she pivoted around slowly, staring at the table of two. The girl, she noted, had her head tilted to the side, while the man had two fingers against his temple, looking as if suffering from a migraine.

**Electrokinesis?** The voice spoke again, startling the waitress. **Hadley,** **it's fine.**

Hadley shrieked under her breath, covering her mouth with her hands to muffle it. "How do you…" she whispered, taking a step towards the two. Bree smiled. **I'm smart. **she thought. **If I said I could, say, read minds, would you believe me? The voice inside your head is pretty convincing, but do you believe now?**

Hadley shook her head. "No way," she muttered. "That makes no sense. Powers don't exist. My shocks are just static electricity."

Bree raised an eyebrow. "Static electritity?" she asked, smirking. "I'm pretty sure I can make it real enough for you."

Her eyes bored into Hadley's, who stared back uncertainly. Suddenly, a sink in the back turned on and water began pouring out of it at an extremely fast rate. Hadley's head whipped towards the noise of the pouring water, shrinking slightly.

It kept going, pushing forward, until a torrent of liquid reached her ankles. It wrapped itself around her feet and sparks began to fly, her own natural power trying to protect her against the invading substance. "No," Hadley shouted as she electrocuted herself. She gripped her hair and shook in fear as sparks flew and she felt flashes of sharp pain. "NO!"

Her breathing was heavy, and the man at the cash register was eyeing her weirdly. "You okay, Had?" he asked as she let go of her hair and flexed her fingers. "I'm fine," she muttered. "I'm fine."

She walked over to the two telepaths, who were smiling, and bent over. "I'm taking the bait. What the hell was that?"

Charles smiled at her. "We're a group of what you would call mutants. Your electrokinesis seems like a rather strong power. Are you interested in becoming one of the," he paused for dramatic effect, "X-Men?"

Confidence returning, Hadley grinned. "Sure," she told the two of them. "Am I allowed to bring my cat?"


	2. Let's Start With a Group Hug

**HEY GAIZ, IT'S BlitzPrinzessin and 2hippie4u again, we just got back from seeing the movie... again. We just wanted to say a few things:**

**#1: Thank you so much for the reviews. They make us happy. :') Especially Blitzie, cause she's typing. And there is one person whose review was probably the most kickass, one of the best we ever had in response to the author's note which she considered one of the best. So thanks, user Louise Hargadon. Hippie was so touched, she named her cat after you. But, uh, he's a male... so we had to make a small adjustment.**

**Blitzie also had to resist the urge to stress the a in Charles every time she typed his name.**

**And since the movie loves them, there will be lots of bald jokes. 3**

**The Cracker of Grahms reappears as well, so this is probably gonna be a running gag as well. (:**

**Tschuss! Enjoy!**

**Oh, and IN SOVIET RUSSIA, GENES MUTATE YOU. Just sayin'.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>SOMEWHERE OVER PENNSYLVANIA<strong>

**1963. AGAIN.**

Kahlin was sitting in the passenger seat of Beast's plane, talking his ear off. She had so many questions about her fellow mutants, and the fuzzy blue man was having a hard time keeping up with her.

"So who's the leader of this thing?" she asked him, taking a breath for what appeared to be the first time since she started attacking him with her words. Beast glanced at her for a second before focusing on flying.

"Our leader is a friend of mine, a man known by Charles Xavier. Or," he grinned, "Professor X."

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "_Professor_ X? Is he old and bald or something? Before I dropped out of college, all of my professors were balding. Or just plain cue balls."

Beast laughed. "No. X is 24, I think. He's pretty young. And has a full head of hair." The blue man risked another glance away from his flying, and grinned again. "Between you and me," he whispered to Kahlin, "I've been trying to shave his head while he's asleep. He won't let me, and his telepathy keeps having him wake up before the razor can touch his head."

Both shared a laugh at that confession, and Kahlin sighed. "So, anyone else?" she asked. "Who are the "ex-men," and what powers do they have? And are we almost to New York? Can I stop at Broadway quickly? Or anywhere close? I brought some marshmallows with me and there's this diner called 'The Grahm Cracker…'"

"The X-Men include:

Professor Charles Xavier, our telepath leader.

Me, Hank Beast McCoy, and uh, I guess I have super strength now…?

This kid we call Banshee, he has like, echokinesis or something. I think his real name is Sean, but I'm not sure. At all.

Alex Summers, or Havok, who has energy conversion. He pretty much shoots plasma out of his chest. I don't like him…. He calls me a bozo.

"And yes, Kahlin, we are almost to Westchester. No, you can not stop at Broadway, and what is with you new kids and grahm crackers? I got a telepathic message from Charles about how his recruit discovered another one… at 'The Grahm Cracker.'"

Kahlin giggled and bounced around in her seat, obviously excited. Beast just sighed and shook his head. "This is gonna be a long flight," he muttered under his breath. "These recruits better be worth it, X."

* * *

><p><strong>BACK AT THE XAVIER MANSION<strong>

**DO I NEED TO SAY THE YEAR?**

Hadley's eyes were dinner plates as she stared at the X-Men base, Charles's mansion. "Holy crap," she whispered, nudging Bree, who was also gaping, "this place is awesome."

Charles laughed. "It happens to be quite _groovy_, actually, but thank you. We X-Men make sure we live in comfort. And plus, it's going to be an academy rather soon, so it has to be rather large."

Bree grinned at Charles. **Guess we're going to be here for awhile**, she mused. _Yes, Bree. You'll be fine. Just remember what I've been telling you and you'll be okay_, Charles replied.

A sharp elbow to Bree's side ended the nonverbal conversation as Hadley, holding the cat she had mentioned when first meeting the telepaths, made a face. "Nonverbal conversation with a non-telepath in sight? It's like whispering at the dinner table. You just don't do it."

The cat meowed in agreement with his owner as Hadley shifted and cooed at him. "There there, Lou," she whispered, stroking the stiff, charred fur. "So Hadley," Charles asked, "what exactly happened to your cat?"

She turned pink. "I electrocuted him by accident last year." Both telepaths stared at her, dumbfounded, as her face turned brighter. "I was only 22!" she complained. "I'm 23 now. I'm more mature."

"I'm sure you are," Bree muttered, tapping her foot impatiently. She glanced at the other telepath and tilted her head. **Screw Hadley, I'm talking like this. How much longer do we have to wait?**

_Not much longer. Just be patient, Briana. And speaking of mutations, have you decided on what to call yourself?_

**Nope.**

"Hadley, have _you_ come up with a name to call yourself?" Charles smiled at the redhead. Hadley grinned impishly. "Well yeah," she said. "Hadley."

Bree rolled her eyes. "That's so creative, Electra," she said sarcastically. Hadley laughed. "Electra? Sounds like an alien from a B-movie or a bad comic." She grinned. "I LIKE IT! Thanks, Pho!"

"Pho?" Bree's upper lip curled in disgust at the nickname, which made no sense at all when compared to Bree, or Briana.

"Yeah, Phobia!" Hadley beamed. "I'm Electra, you're Phobia!"

**Charles, please help me. I don't like it.**

_You can always change the name sometime, you know. Phobia's good for a start._

**I meant the redhead.**

…_Oh. Regretting finding her?_

**Dear God, is there a mutant who can reverse time? …Is that a plane I hear?**

* * *

><p>Once again, the nonverbal conversation ended with a halt, this time as a plane landed right in front of the Xavier mansion. Charles was ecstatic, laughing and clapping as it descended, and the passenger and driver seats opened.<p>

Beast hopped out of the driver seat, and a blonde girl jumped out of the passenger, bouncing.

"Hi," she chirped. "I'm Kahlin! I'm a mutant too!" To prove her words, her form shimmered and vanished.

Beast smiled sheepishly. "She's really good at camouflage," he explained. Charles nodded, and pressed two fingers to his forehead. _Alex, Banshee, can you come to the front lawn, please?_

Hadley lunged forward in the empty space and smacked the air. A spark shot out of her hand and Kahlin shrieked in surprise, turning back to normal colors. She held her wrist up to the light and pouted. "That hurt," she complained.

The front door flew open and Alex stomped out. "Yes, X?" he asked, somewhat grouchy. "I was taking a nap," he added under his breath. Banshee ran up from behind him.

"New recruits?" he asked eagerly, eyes scanning the three in front of him. "Aha… ladies!" He swaggered over to Bree and flashed her a grin. "How convienient," he said, trying to sound macho, "you're a mutant, **I'm** a mutant, we should get a bite to eat and talk about it!"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Do you have _any_ other pick up lines?" he asked the strawberry blonde, who turned the same shade as his hair. Shoving Banshee out of the way, Alex stuck a hand out to Bree. "Alex Summers," he said quietly, "or Havok."

She smiled. "Bree Thompson. Phobia." She took his hand and shook it. Beast walked up. "Alex, don't forget to introduce yourself to the oth-"

"Ooh, a fluffy guy!" Bree turned around and examined Beast, amused. "Can I dye your fur brown so I have an excuse to call you a gorilla?" she joked. Beast was _so not amused_. Alex was. He laughed as Beast, offended, stomped over to stand by Hadley, who began petting his fur.

"It's fuzzy!" she chirped. "Just like Lou!" Beast sighed, rolled his eyes, and began muttering under his breath. "I just _had_ to inject myself. I couldn't have been a man and gotten over it, but no, I _had_ to get worked up over the stupid blue girl and end up the same shade as her!"

Kahlin bounced over to him. "Can I help you with your blue problem?" she asked cheerily. Beast sighed again. "I don't see how you ca-"

"Not the fluffy one," Hadley interjected, snickering. "The female one! Who's this stupid blue girl, hmm?"

Everyone grew quiet, and Bree glanced at Charles. **What now?** she asked. He blinked.

"Well, everyone," he pointed at Alex, then Beast, then Banshee, "girls. This is Bree, or Phobia. She's a telepath like me. Hadley, or… er, Electra, is electrokinetic, and I don't really understand Kahlin's power, but it has to do with camouflage. I think we're gonna call her Chameleon."

Kahlin's eyes widened as she glanced at the professor for the first time, and her cheeks grew tinted pink. "That's such a clever name!" she chirped. "You're smart!"

**Suck up.**

Charles smiled. "Well, I am a professor," he offered. Kahlin shook her head wildly. "No," she told him stubbornly, "you can't be a professor until you're old or bald. Or both."

Everyone laughed, and Bree cried out in pain, collapsing suddenly. Alex, who was closest, caught her as she let loose a long string of swear words under her breath. "Are you okay?" the convict asked curiously as everyone gathered around her. She swore, "god dammit!" and shook her head.

"I just read a mind," she said hoarsely, hating herself for holding "all the goddamn attention." Charles blinked. "That's it?" he asked.

Bree shook her head. "Nope," she told him, then paused.

Her next question made him go pale.

"What the hell is a Magneto?"


	3. Incogmagneto While Doing the Rave

**2 in a row! 3**

**Hippie wants it to be known that Kahlin is not a sue. She's just a creeper.**

**The next of this random battle should be up Wednesdayish, Hippie lives close to Blitzie so she's allowed to come over whenever she wants. :D**

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><p>"What the hell is a Magneto?" Bree repeated as Charles and Beast exchanged a worried look. "Is it a dance move?" she asked confusedly. "Because if we have to go to a rave party, I'm pretty sure we'll all end up doing the disco of death. This person's thoughts are…. rather frantic."<p>

Hadley blanched. "I don't dance," she complained, "and if I have to go dancing in a place where I have a chance to die, I'm staying away."

Charles shook his head worriedly. "Magneto is another mutant," he told the new recruits, who stared at him blankly. "He's a bad guy."

Kahlin gasped. "Oh god, a bad guy?" Banshee glanced at Bree. "Can you try and locate him or something?" he asked her.

Bree's head lolled to the side and she closed her eyes. Charles pressed two fingers to his temple in an effort to help.

**There's someone watching, but I can't get a read on anything**, Bree complained to the other telepath. _Can you transmit an image? _Charles asked. _I can take over their sight and view this._

A picture flashed in his head and Charles focused more as Bree straightened up. "Professor X to the rescue," she said dryly. Kahlin smiled. "He's rather smart," she said brightly. "So I think he can help us!"

Alex mimed throwing up behind the fellow blonde, and Beast elbowed him. "That's rude," he told the Havok wreaker stubbornly. Hadley cracked a grin. "Dancing or not, I'm going," she told everyone.

Banshee shrugged. "I see no problem with that!" he said sheepishly, before diving into a bush so he stayed hidden while Charles tried to figure out what was going on. "Wimp," Alex muttered. His hands curled into fists and he shot a plasma beam from his chest at the bush Banshee was entangled in, causing the boy to shriek in surprise as the bush lit on fire.

Charles's eyes flew open and he smiled. "I got it!" he told the X-Men. "Magneto is at a laboratory, I think they're experimenting with human genes to remove a mutant's powers."

Beast swore under his breath. "That makes perfect sense for _Magneto_ to target," he said softly. Charles looked around. He noticed the flaming bush, but shook it aside for later. "So," he asked, "who's going?"

"What do you mean, who?" Kahlin asked curiously. "Shouldn't we all go?"

"You, Bree, and Hadley aren't trained," Alex replied, rolling his eyes, "Prof. here's in a wheelchair, Banshee's indesposed because I think he peed himself after the bush incident, let's see, Bozo here is fluffy, and I don't really have any problems. So all of us going would be a nightmare."

Beast shot Alex a look. "You still have horrible control, Alex," the blue man said pointedly. "Like me on a good day?" Hadley asked innocently.

She stepped forward. "I'm going, I need this, and" she grabbed Bree's arm and yanked her over, "Phobia's coming too. I could use her. And plus, it's just fun to say Phobia."

Charles smiled at the two of them. "Okay: Electra and Phobia are going." He glanced at Kahlin. "You might want to stay here for a little while," he told her. She giggled. "Sure, professor! Anything for the guy who introduced me to this groovy mutant lifestyle!"

"That was me," Beast reminded her. She shrugged. "Whatever." The blue man glanced over at the two girls, and then seized Alex's arm. "We'll go too," he offered. The blonde made a face, but shrugged. "Whatever," he mimicked Kahlin.

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><p><strong>SOMEWHERE IN THE AIR<strong>

**1964. loljk. 1963 doods.**

_Do you know where the lab is?_

**Yep. I'll be fine, professor.**

_It's not that… okay, well, I'm kind of worrying because you're new, but Hadley seems to make a joke out of _everything_. I don't want her trying to make Erik laugh with jokes about his helmet while he tries to crush her skull with a building structure._

**I won't let that happen. Telepathy comes in handy. And plus, if anyone kills Hadley, it's me.**

"Communicating nonverbally?"

Alex smirked at Bree, who chuckled. "Yeah," she said sheepishly. "It comes in handy." "Well, if they have Emma Frost with them, then it won't be any use at all!" Beast called over from the pilot seat. Hadley was sitting in the passenger seat and trying to play "I Spy" with Beast, who was trying to steer.

"Emma Frost?" Both new girls were confused.

Beast pressed the autopilot button and turned around. "Emma Frost is a telepath with extraordinary deflection powers. She has a mode which she calls "Diamond Form" which turns her body to pure crystal. This mode blocks all other telepaths and other powers that involve the mind."

Hadley whistled. "She sounds badass. And shiny. Shinily badass." Beast blinked. "Is shinily a word?" he asked her. She shrugged. "Dunno. It is now, I guess."

Bree frowned. "Who else would be with Magneto?" she asked. "Is the blue problem there?" Hadley asked eagerly.

Alex scowled. "Okay, there's Magneto, who's magnetokinetic, Emma Frost, the telepath, Azazel, who's practically the devil, horns and tail included, Angel, who was one of us but left, she's able to fly and spit fireballs, and there's Mystique. Bozo's blue problem. She's a shapeshifter."

"I'm not a bozo!" Beast snapped before taking a deep breath to calm himself. "And yeah. My 'blue problem' is Mystique. Raven. Whatever. She hated her looks as much as I did, and suddenly, a talk with Magneto changes her mind and she's all happy to be blue! Well, I hate this color now! And so I hate her!"

Hadley let out a small smile. "There's a thin line between love and hate, Hank Beast McCoy."

Bree giggled. "You sure you don't want me to dye you brown?" she asked innocently.

Beast ignored both of them as he pressed a button, and the plane started descending. It landed smoothly, and the four of them prepared to get out.

* * *

><p><strong>SOME LAB IN SOME PLACE IN SOME STATE IN THE US OF A<strong>

**1963. That was obvious enough.**

Alex kicked the door open so both him and Bree could get out, and Hadley headbutted hers, hoping to mimic his results. She ended up falling backwards with a dizzying headache. Beast opened her door and threw her out impatiently.

"Ready, Phobia?" Alex asked Bree jokingly. She smiled impishly. "Ready, Havoc. Bozo, you ready?" she asked Beast, who shot her a glare. "Electra, how about you?" Hadley winced. "I need a s'more," she moaned. "Someone take me to 'The Graham Cracker!'"

The four began walking to the site, which Charles had sent to the other telepath. A laboratory with smashed windows and pieces of metal sticking out everywhere. "Yep," Beast confirmed. "That's definitely the work of Erik."

"Is he a dance move too?" Bree asked dryly, walking over to the door and kicking it open. Sparks from disconnected wires were flying, and she ducked hastily. "C'mon!" she beckoned for the others to follow, and they all ran into the building.

Hadley paused. "Wait, you guys." She lifted a hand and rotated it, and sparks shot out. "This guy has magnetokinesis, right? I think I can feel something." She took off in one direction, with the others chasing after her.

They reached a small room with a blue girl and a man in a fuchsia helmet surveying the damage they did. All humans were lying dead on the ground, and the room was torn apart. "Beast," Alex whispered, "this looks like your room right after you went all indigo on us."

His words were heard by the two, who turned around.

The blue girl held a hand to her mouth and gasped, and the man just stared blankly at the four.

"Your helmet," Hadley said slowly, rotating her wrist again, which shot sparks toward him, "why is it hot pink?"

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><p><strong>Oh, Hadley. First the crackers, now the offending gender stereotypes. No more 'But I'm a Cheerleader' for you. <strong>

**Anyway, it'll be explained next chapter how she mysteriously found him. We're trying to make this as not-sue-ish as possible, so it does have a reason.**

**Bye, we're going to do the Magneto and the Erik at the rave party of doom now.  
><strong>


	4. Sparks Fly, Eh

**Okay, so according to Hippie, we have no lives. Since she got bored and decided to flee to Blitzie's house (which took her almost a half hour to find...) the new chapter is up Mondayish and then the NEXT one will be up Wednesdayish. ;D**

**And this is called "Sparks Fly". Gee, no idea at all who the main character in this chapter will be. Next chapter, Magneto's being more of a creeper than he usually is (which is usually towards Charles ;3)**

**and WE HAVE OUR OWN _TRAINING MONTAGE! _But uh, we're low budget, so imagine the "groovy" sixties music. and sadly no CHAAARLES in this chapter. and his bluer-than-blue eyes.**

* * *

><p>When Hadley began teasing Erik about his helmet, he simply found it mildy annoying.<p>

After the fourth comment, he was ready to take his "girly, magenta helmet" and throw it at her head.

Beast turned to Hadley, trying to keep himself from looking at Raven, who was examining the new recruits, and asked a very important question. "How the heck did you locate him just by rotating your wrist?"

Magneto raised an eyebrow at this. "You found me via some clueless girl who doesn't even understand who exactly she's trying to taunt?"

"Hey!" the redhead snapped. "Listen here, Dancy," Magneto looked confused at this, while Bree and Alex began snickering, "sure, I'm a newbie. BUT I'M A NEWBIE WHO JUST FOUND YOUR SORRY MAGENTA-CLAD ASS LOITERING HERE GOING 'LA DEE DAH.'" Hadley's face was red and she was breathing heavily from her outburst, while everyone looked awed. Sparks shot from her fingers to go along with her anger.

Raven looked amused, and shapeshifted from her blue form into the 'normal' blonde Raven. "If only we had Emma," she mused, shooting Magneto a glance. She shifted back into blue form and Hadley gasped, while Beast let out a growl under his breath.

"HANK!" she shrieked. "Bozo," Bree corrected. Hadley ignored her and continued excitedly, her anger forgotten. "It's your blue problem!" she squeaked, bouncing up and down on her heels and pointing at Raven. Hadley walked up to the blue girl and stuck out a hand.

"Hi, I'm Hadley!" she chirped. "Or Electra! That's my code name! Bree came up with it, that girl next to Havok! Say hi, Phobreea!" Bree shot Hadley a disgusted look, and connected her hand with her face in an annoyed facepalm.

Hadley sighed and turned back to Raven. "So you must be Mystique, Captain Pink-Cap's right hand man! Er… woman… blue person thing…" Raven shot her a look that mirrored Bree's. "Raven will do. I'm among my fellow mutants."

She gave Magneto a subtle glance, who nodded and lifted his hands. The fingers began curling and he focused on a point in the background. The already destroyed building began shifting slightly once more, the metal being forced from its structure.

A long steel rod impaled the lab table with all of the data on it, and a second fell in front of the three X-Men behind Hadley.

Beast gaped. "What are you doing?" he growled, and Magneto rolled his eyes. "She's driving me nuts. You're all bugging me. I can't help mutants who don't want to be helped."

He made a slashing movement in the air and a third rod of metal shot down, its target Hadley's head. She lifted her arms in the air in an attempt to swat it away, hands shooting sparks wildly. Her right connected with the rod and while Hadley shrieked in pain at the contact, so did Magneto. In a more manly sense.

The steel was sparking with electricity, giving off shocks as Magneto let go of his control to stop hurting. It fell and Hadley had to jump out of the way, still shaking her hand in pain. "Mystique," Magneto hissed, "distract them!"

She gave him a dirty look. "How the hell do I do that?" He shrugged. "Do something!"

Raven seized a concoction that had survived the mess and threw it at the opposing side. "Sorry," she whispered. Only Beast, with his super ape hearing, heard her. The potion practically blew up, spewing liquid everywhere and starting a small fire. Smoke issued from the cracked test tube, and completely obstructed the vision of the four.

When the smoke cleared, both M's were gone. Removed from the premise. Just plan vanished. "Holy shit," Bree whispered. She glanced at Hadley. "How the hell did you do that?"

* * *

><p><strong>WHEREVER THE HELL MAGNETO IS BASED<strong>

**GEE GAIZ, WHAT YEAR DO YOU THINK THIS IS?**

Azazel was gaping at his leader, who had burns on his hands. "What the hell happened in there?" he demanded. Emma and Angel both eyed Raven, who just shrugged. "I don't know what went on," she admitted.

Emma stood up. "May I?" she asked sweetly. Raven nodded. Her mind became invaded then by Emma Frost. The telepath searched through Raven's recent events and gasped under her breath when she saw exactly _what_ hurt Magneto.

"Well?" Riptide demanded, making mini tornadoes in his palm. Emma smirked. "She's an electrokinetic, first of all."

Azazel raised an eyebrow and Magneto shot her a look. "A what?" he asked, gritting his teeth from the pain. "An electrokinetic," Emma explained, "has power over electricity. And metal conducts electricity, Magneto."


	5. Insert Training Montage Here

**HAY GAIZ. HIPPIE HAS NO LIFE AT ALL SO SHE KEEPS GOING TO BLITZIE'S. So these keep getting done too early.**

**The training montage begins! And Bree turns into a kickass person! :D and blitzie is connected to bree, so therefore blitzie is (apparently) a kickass person.**

**and hippie thanks everyone for the comments about hadley, since hadley is her/her baby. c:**

**also, according to hippie as well, there have been questions about TEH ROMANCE!111!.!$#%8**

**So, I'm spoiling all of the COUPLES. If they weren't obvious. Cause Blitzie don't do subtle.**

* * *

><p><strong>BralexPhobak: Bree and Alex, of course. They're like total BFFS at first and then that develops into a budding romance. I'd say that's the best type of relationship. And Lucas Till agrees. Go watch "You Belong With Me." And according to Hippie, he went to prison in X-Men verse after killing his prom date [Swift] with his "hula hoops of death." I wonder about her... but anyways, they're probably the closest couple because they, besides the fact there are no stalkers in play, consider each other both best friends and lovers in the end.**

**Charlin/Profmeleon: ...For all of those who supported Hadley/Chaaarles in the beginning, I am sorry. But we all know that his true love is Magneto. Except in this story /brick'd./ Anyways, since Kahlin is so much like a buddy of ours who is... a bit of a creeper at times, she's the creepy stalker of the story. :D Charles feels bad for her. She's obsessed with him. Maybe they'll date... because he questions how much her sanity will detoriorate even more if she's forever alone. Keep reading.**

**Erley/Maglectra: And since Chaarles is busy in this story, Magneto develops a strange fascination with Hadley due to the fact she's all "herp derp metal conducts electricity." And then it leads to Kahlin-like-obsession except it's mutual. ;) **

**T****he end! Enjoy doods. And since Hippie likes Blitzie's house too much, chapter 6 should be here soon. Probably. Cause Hippie's here so much she's been offered a room in my house.**

**OH! And Hippie and I want it to be known that, for every three hours there are no reviews, Chaaarles' eyes lose some of their sparkle. SAVE THE SEXINESS, PEEPS!**

* * *

><p>"Metal does <em>what<em>?" Magneto demanded.

Emma rolled her eyes. "It's quite simple, really," she replied coolly. "Metal. Conducts. Electricity. She's an electrokinetic. You're metalkinetic. Or magnetokinetic, I'm not exactly sure which. Point is, you control metal. And once she hit _your_ metal, she sent out sparks, which in turn connected with you."

Azazel raised an eyebrow. "How is that simple?" he growled, tail swishing back and forth behind his head. Raven sighed. "Just cool it," she snapped at him. "Point is, that girl can use Magneto's power against him."

"Or," Angel interjected, "simply **kick his ass**." "That works too, Angel… thanks for the input."

The Hellfire Club all exchanged looks, and Emma shrugged. "If she can, um, "kick Magneto's ass" _all by herself_," she said slowly, "then imagine what would happen if she and Magneto worked **together**."

DO NOT WANT

DO NOT WANT

DO NOT WANT

Emma winced. "Oh, my god, I can sense all of your thoughts. Who keeps thinking "do not want?"

Magneto blanched. "Sorry, Emma." "…I can't read your thoughts, Magneto. You're wearing your helmet."

Raven smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. That girl's just… crazy."

"You know what they say," Angel interjected dryly with a pointed look directed towards Magneto, "crazy attracts even more crazy."

* * *

><p><strong>CHAAAARLES'S MAAAAANSION<strong>

**Can anyone guess the year? Anyone? Anyone? 2011? What are you smoking? It's 1963!**

Hadley blinked. "What's conductivity?" she asked hastily when Charles was finished. The professor was giving a similar speech to the one Emma Frost did, only with much larger words and much less understanding by his peers. And nothing whatsoever about the crazy and crazy getting together.

"I'm not explaining again," Charles said tiredly. "Just know that you," he grinned, "have one groovy mutation." Kahlin pouted and shimmered into Chameleon mode at the lack of attention. No one really noticed at the time.

The electrokinetic giggled. "I do, don't I?" she mused, and then suddenly dropped to the ground, shrieking in pain. Something was trying to whack her, but no one could figure out what. "IT'S THE FROSTY LADY!" Hadley whined. "THE ABOMINABLE SNOWWOMAN! ARGH!"

Bree sighed. "Kahlin," she snapped, stomping over to the ground above Hadley. Her knee shot into the air, and connected with Kahlin's invisible cheek. "Stop attacking Hadley!" the telepath growled as Kahlin shifted back into colorful mode and collapsed to the ground, sporting what appeared to be a swollen, and very bruised cheek.

"…You kick major ass," Hadley noted. "But uh, how did you hit her face?" "She was bending over. Bend+knee=face being owned." Bree smiled as Kahlin pouted.

Beast and Charles both shared an exasperated look. "Okay, X-Men," the professor told them, "Hank and I have been discussing some things, and we think you should be trained."

"Should I hightail it to the metal room in the basement?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. Charles laughed. "I was hoping you'd be able to take Hadley down there and introduce her to the metal." He laughed again, and his blue eyes sparkled. "Yeah, cause that room made of _metal _is so not going to come back to bite you in the ass later," Bree muttered.

_Now, now, Bree, what did I say about language?_

**Yet Hadley can say kick ass? Bite me, professor.**

_Language!_

Hadley blinked. "Metal room?" she laughed. "Sounds fun!" Beast nodded, and glanced at Kahlin. "Kahlin appears to be… indesposed at the moment, so that leaves you." He glanced at Bree, and gave her a calm smile. "Charles offered to help you with your telepathic gift, and since Havok," he gave Alex a disapproving glance, "likes hitting things and people with baseball bats, he can help you with the physical training. You've got a rather powerful kick."

Bree raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it a bad idea to use purely physical power against mutants with superhuman powers?" she asked. Charles smiled. "Maybe, but it's always useful against Azazel. We've lost almost all of our long range fighters, and since he has a habit of grabbing people, you could probably throw a punch before he tries to drop you."

"Did someone say Banshee?" The teenage boy swaggered over to Bree and flashed her another smile. She gave him a withering glance and stomped over to stand by Charles, who creeped her out way less. "No, idiot," Alex snapped. "We were actually discussing Azazel."

Hadley was standing over Banshee and surveying him. "Can I spike your hair? It's annoying me." He gave her a flirtatious smile. "Only if you're willing to go get a bite to eat and talk about it sometime, after all, you like spikes, I'm _willing_ to like spikes…" She shot him a look. "Sorry. No."

_Real_ men wear magenta.

Bree raised an eyebrow at this thought of Hadley's. "Real men wear magenta?" she asked dryly, and the redhead turned a shade that matched her hair. "I didn't mean that!" she squeaked. "Get out of my head!" Banshee laughed. "I'm willing to like magenta too!" he offered.

* * *

><p><strong>THE METAL ROOM IN THE BASEMENT<strong>

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! IT'S… STILL 1963! 3**

Hadley was gaping as she examined the scorch marks all over the walls and the ceiling, the metal bars stacked in the corner, and the destroyed targets scattered all over. "It's beautiful!" she breathed. Alex snorted. "Yeah, yeah." He turned to leave. "Have fun."

She glanced at him. "Aren't you supposed to help?" "Nah. I'm going to help Bree kick more ass. Go nuts, Electra." Alex sent her a wry smile. "Don't kill yourself on the first day. Save it for at least the third." He left the metal room, with Hadley standing there and staring at his retreating back before focusing on abusing the metal around her so she could create more power for herself.

* * *

><p><strong>THE FRONT LAWN WITH THE DESTROYED BUSH<strong>

Beast was setting up manequins on the lawn for Bree to use. "I rigged them with wires to mimic nerves, and packets of fake blood. There are also pieces that work for bones, so you can get more accurate and destructive with your moves." He smiled at her. "Just… save it for a battle in which they're actually fighting to kill you, okay? I don't want you to become a killer."

She shook her head. "I don't want to become one myself, but if it's me vs. someone, then you can bet I'll be looking for myself. Even with that Emma Frost, if I kick hard enough I can probably crack the crystal. Hopefully." Bree cracked a grin and examined her opponents .There were six life-sized dolls staring her in the eye. "…These are creepy," she mused, examining them.

Alex ran up right as Beast finished placing the last doll. "Sorry I'm late, Bozo!" he called over to Beast, then glanced at Bree. "What did I miss?"

Bree raised an eyebrow. "Nothing. Shouldn't you be with Hadley?" He shrugged. "She's fine." A sudden, rather loud "BOOM!" emitting from the basement startled both of them. "Okay, _mostly_ fine," he said sheepishly.

Both laughed, and Bree glanced at her targets. She glanced at Alex. "Before I begin, any pointers?" He stared at the models and nodded. "If you can kick that high," he told her, "go for the temples. Also the neck, back of it preferably, and the ches t for females." He pointed downward. "And a well placed kick in the balls is never fun for any guy. I think Bozo, sorry, Beast, rigged these, so they're actually able to move and mime the motions that would happen if you hit a certain spot."

Bree nodded, cracking her knuckles. "Got it!" She tilted her head to try and crack her neck, cracked her knuckles again, and grinned wickedly. She lunged for the doll, darted around to the back, jumped, and tried a roundhouse kick to the temple. Instead, her foot connected with the side of the doll's neck, and the swing took the head _clean off of the practice target_.

Alex laughed. "Holy shit, Bree," he whispered, shaking his head as he examined the fake blood spurting out of the neck stump. The doll's design had it collapse almost immediately. Bree whistled. "That would _so_ not happen in real life against a real enemy," she mused.

"At least you know if you miss you're still owning enemies," Alex joked. He glanced at her. "May I finish this off?" he asked. She nodded. "Go ahead." He balled his hands into fists and concentrated. When the plasma shot from his body and incinerated the decapitated target, both trainees cheered.

The telepath smiled. **Good job**. She sent the thought over to Alex, who smiled. "Thanks," he said cheerfully, or as cheerfully a convict could muster. "Now keep trying."


	6. What is this I Don't Even

**Hiii. It's Blitzie (who's pretty much always the one typing) and Hippie, who's next to me reading all these words getting rugburn because I don't feel like dragging a chair from my mom's room into my midgety bedroom. **

**We got off our asses again and since we have no lives, wrote a filler chapter that takes a lot of time at THE GRAHAM CRACKER.**

**We own "The Graham Cracker." btw. if you want to use it in a first class fic, please private message one of us. (preferably BlitzPrinzessin, because I get lonely because the only story I actually have published is a Glee fic and no one ever talks to me on my account, haha.)**

**Speaking of PMs, Hippie is all "fffff do not want" with getting spammed about stuff. She wants people to review when they favorite. She said Magneto's helmet loses some of its magenta when people do that. Where she comes up with these, I don't know...**

**oh, and we have two more First Class-y fics coming up. c: one will be posted on here, 2hippie4u (Maddyton/Bill/Billy-Bob-Joe-Weasley-Girl-Your-Grace-Darling-Riverfall/Hadley), and one will be posted on my (Bree/Blitzie/Gabby/Gabe) account, BlitzPrinzessin. And if anyone asks, my real name is Bree. I just like the name Bree. So poof, the OC is Bree. Cause it's a nice name. xD and that really long, drawn out one, is actually Hippie's nickname. I came up with nearly all of it.**

**Remember: review so Charles keeps his sparkly eyes.**

**And review when you fave so Magneto keeps his prissy magenta helmet.**

* * *

><p><strong>THE GRAHAM CRACKER<strong>

**WHAT'S 1963+0? GUESS WHAT? IT'S 1963!**

Banshee leaned across the table and put on what he hoped was his most winning smile. "So, Bree," he said casually, "I wasn't joking when I asked you for a bite to eat after you mentioned your love of s'mores. So I took you to the Graham Cracker!"

Bree raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked sarcastically. "Because I've never heard of this place before, and I'm pretty much a food critic. It must suck if I haven't heard of it… where's Alex, anyway?"

"Your Alex will be let out of the metal room in the basement which _accidentally_ locked its own door, after this date." The redhead/strawberry blonde type person beamed and winked. "Until then, you're all mine!"

His "date" slumped over, muttering swear words under her breath. **Professor**, she begged telepathically, **get me out of here! **_Where are you? _Her mentor asked.

**I'm at the Graham Cracker. With Banshee. Please save me. I don't think I can take five more minutes without roundhouse kicking him in the neck. Or as Electra calls it, "death-kicking."**

…_Crud. Kahlin found me; I've been trying to hide from her. She won't stop bombarding me about space-invading questions like what brand underwear I buy and if I ever get lonely sleeping by myself. I'm sorry, but I can't help you._

**SCREW KAHLIN! I'm ready to commit homicide over here!**

_I'll send Alex… where is he, anyways?_

**Ask Banshee. Send Hadley or something. She can distract him by babbling on about magenta.**

_On it._

As Bree finished her nonverbal conversation with the professor, she sighed. **How did I end up in this situation? **she thought.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A couple of hours earlier<strong>_

_**AT DA MANSION. IN DA 1963. AFTER DA X-MEN MOVIE. WHERE DA BREE IS HIT ON BY DA BANSHEE AND DA BANSHEE FORCES HER INTO GOING OUT ON DA DATE WITH HIM. DA.**_

Bree was gathering the remaining bits and pieces from her practice mannequins, preparing to take them to Beast for repairs. All of her destructive kicks, punches, and even slaps to the various body parts destroyed the dolls, and she _seriously_ needed to keep practicing.

Alex had been helping her, but he left to take a bathroom break, and for some reason never returned.

"Well, his loss," she muttered under her breath. It was actually quite amusing to see where some of the pieces had landed during her Chuck Norris-like frenzy. One had landed in the bush that Havok set on fire, one had hit Lou, who was stalking the front yard, in the head, and she found a head inside a bucket that someone was attempting to paint magenta.

The telepath had burst out laughing when she fished the head, stained with magenta, out of the bucket. Next to it was another mannequin head, covered in glue and silver sequins. It reflected the harsh sunlight and made Bree's eyes hurt, but this "project" was amusing her.

She was snapped out of her memories by the sound of footsteps, or rather, crunching grass, behind her. "Havok?" she asked hopefully. "Even better!" the boy behind her responded.

Bree swore under her breath, and took several deep breaths to calm herself. "What do you want, Banshee?" she asked coolly. The carrot top smiled. "I was hoping you would accompany me to grab a bite," he said, attempting to sound smooth.

She shook her head and turned back to the mannequin pieces. "No." He pouted. "Please? Just one? Please please please please pleasee?"

Once again, Bree shook her head. "_No_. I don't want to. Can you go, and on your way back in, tell Alex to get his ass out here? I need help." Banshee smiled crookedly. "Sorry, Alex had a bit of an… accident with the door to his training room. He's locked in.

"So would you like to reconsider that date? At least while he's… indesposed?" the boy smiled at her and she made a face. "Let Alex out when we get back, and it's a deal," she snapped. Banshee nodded. "Sure." Bree's face suddenly lit up, and she grinned mischevously. "And I want the candy you have hidden in your room."

The echokinetic paled slightly. "Half." "All." "Three-fourths." "All. Or I'll even tell Alex _how_ the door shut itself." "…Fine."

* * *

><p><strong>CURRENT TIME In 1963<strong>

**BACK AT THE GRAHAM CRACKER. MMMMM, S'MORES.**

Bree's lips curled into a slight smile at the memory, despite her company. Banshee took that as a sign that she was having a fun time on their "date" and kept on rambling. She sighed and turned to the door once more, willing her redhead friend to walk inside.

And so she did. Hadley, wearing an oversized pair of sunglasses and kitten ears, burst through the door and beamed as she looked around at the place of her former employment. "Oh my gosh," she shrieked happily, "I _so_ missed this place!"

Hadley wasn't able to be seen by Banshee, whose view of the door was blocked by Bree, so he figured that it was just some creeper girl. "I have to go to the bathroom," Bree told him suddenly, and he nodded once as she slipped away, walking past Hadley.

"You owe me," the redhead muttered as the brunette passed. Bree's green eye twitched slightly and she pouted. "I know," she whispered, "I'll give you some of the candy I took from Echo over there." Hadley giggled and pushed her towards the bathroom. "Go, I'll distract him so you can leave! Save your man, Phobreea! Save him!"

She slid into Bree's seat as said girl scurried off, and Banshee looked up, surprised. "Hadley?" he asked hastily. "Where's Bree?" She shrugged. "In the little telepaths' room. I just wanted to stop by for a chat." The carrot top looked at her sunglasses, shielding half her face from view, and then the fuzzy kitten ears clashing magnificently with her red hair, and gaped. "What are you _wearing_?"

"It's Gangster Wednesday and Kitty 23rd. I get a free meal _and_ a free giant s'more if I double up."

"You look stupid."

"That's what you say _now_, but who'll be the one laughing when you have to pay and I don't?" She scoffed. "After that comment, I won't even be using my ex-employee's discount on you."

Banshee sighed and glanced around. When he saw Bree wasn't there, he grew disinterested in focusing on anyone else as Hadley peered at his head. She dunked a napkin in her Coke and began squeezing the excess soda out onto his head. "I'd so love to make your hair spiky," she mused.

Neither of them noticed the stern-faced man clad in dark colors, a cape, and a magenta helmet at a nearby table. He was eyeing both of them and watching rather carefully…

* * *

><p><strong>THAT BIG METAL ROOM THINGY WHERE ALEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE LOCKED IN. POOR ALEX.<strong>

**According to my computer, it's 2011. But since that's sort of like breaking the fourth wall and turning this into even more of a crack!fic, it's 1963 BITCHES.**

Alex had been pounding on the door that connected his training room to the outside world for _hours_. He was going nuts from all the time he had spent staring at the burned walls and sniffing fried metal from when Hadley had been borrowing the room.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" he bellowed, seriously pissed off. "LET ME OUT, WHOEVER DID THIS!"

The door began making creaking noises, and scared, he backed away. In a few seconds, it swung open, revealing a straight-haired brunette with one green eye and one brown, staring at him concernedly. Alex's face broke into a huge smile.

"Bree!" he shouted. In his state of happiness, he grabbed her in a hug and swung her around a few times. She giggled. "Sorry it took so long to get you out of here," she apologized. "I had to distract Banshee with Hadley before I could flee. He dragged me to the Graham Cracker."

The convict's face contorted angrily, at the mention of both who locked him in, and also that Banshee was trying to woo Bree. "What?" he growled. The telepath put a hand on his bicep. "Wait until he gets home, and then go all Havok on him," she advised. Then she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from that metal prison.

* * *

><p><strong>NEXT CHAPTER: BONDING TIME FOR THE CARROT TOPS.<strong>

**REDHEADS UNITE!111!**

**And then Magneto goes batshit insane because of this. And some people lose money.**


	7. THE CRACKER OF GRAHAMS AND MEGANS

**HI GUYS! It's 11 PM here in east Pennsylvania and I'm creeping on Hippie's computer! |D which means i got off my lazy ass and went to her house for once. It's Blitzie, bitch.**

**This is practically another filler chapter, as well as the next one, but they both introduce concepts like Magneto's stalker obsession with Hadley. That's explained in this chapter... and the next one is just for teh LULZ.**

**Speaking of lulz...**

**IT'S FRYDAY, FRYDAY, GOTTA GET DOWHN ON FRYYDAY;**

**EVERYBUDY'S RUSSIAN FORWARD TO DAH WEEKNEND. :D**

**and no money is lost till chapter 8. /azazel lets out relieved sigh/ **

**...you're still losing money, azazel. just not yet. you're not getting your new comic book, so get over it.**

**oh, and whoever gets the reference in the title gets; **

**A. a virtual cookie, and**

**B. a oneshot of their choice in the X-Men: First Class era, written by Bree. either that, or a character in the sequel. c:**

* * *

><p><strong>THE GRAHAM CRACKER<strong>

**Go check the news. I aint repeating the year.**

Hadley was chewing on her free sandwich obnoxiously, leering at Banshee because of her free meal. He was staring sullenly at her delicious, hot fresh s'mores, sitting on a plate as she waited for them to cool. "Are you sure you can't give me just one?" he asked sadly.

She shook her head, then put down her sammich and reached into her jacket pocket. "Not unless you wear these and get your own." Hadley held out a pair of kitten ears, fuzzy like hers, only these were dark grey. The carrot top shook his head disgustedly. "I'd rather get pushed off another high object than wear those." Hadley shrugged. "Suit yourself," she mused, "only no s'mores for you."

* * *

><p>Magneto was eyeing the pair from his stalker spot in a booth across from them. How he figured out both Hadley and Banshee were there, none of the X-Men would ever know after they got a chance to think about it, but he was, and he was watching. And also staring at the s'more on his plate suspiciously, as if he found it to be a lethal weapon.<p>

From his spot, he couldn't hear too much, but he could see, and he saw what looked like the two flirting. They were both smiling and laughing, and… was sharing a pair of kitty ears a normal, mutant dating rite-of-passage? Erik had never had a girlfriend, so he would never really know.

After a couple of minutes, the girl convinced Sean to put the kitten ears on, and then waltz up to the cash register, and when the annoying boy turned around, he was carrying a plate of those suspicious sweets made with the marshmallows and chocolate melted inside graham crackers. Sparkette, he noted, started clapping happily as Banshee marched proudly back to their table.

Originally, it was Telepatha who was with the carrot top, but she snuck off and was replaced. It shamed Erik to admit that he was turning into a lowly stalker, so eager for information on his adversaries that he would go to common human restaurants in his full mutant gear just to hear their names. Telepatha, he was pretty sure, was called Phoebe. Or at least, he heard Redhead Girl/Sparkette call her Pho, which seemed to be short for Phoebe. Then again, she said Phobree, so he wasn't exactly sure if her name was really Phobree and she was just that unfortunate, or if it was a stupid nickname given to her by the hyper electrokinetic.

His _other_ reason came to mind after he witnessed the girl stroking the kitty ears worn by Banshee. She seemed to be doing so in a rather flirtatious manner, and it made him _angry_. And no one liked Erik Lehnsherr when he was _angry_. Her ability to use his power against him had him, how you say, conducted. It got his attention. Her spark connected to his wall of steel and he was captivated. Smitten. And it made no sense to him at all.

There was this girl, whose name he didn't know, who made fun of him and the color of his helmet, and he had fallen for her. How juvenile. And Banshee apparently liked _Erik's_ Sparkette as well. He glanced at Emma, who was standing at the door to the girl's bathroom, staring sullenly, and he nodded. She took the signal and understood, and focused to begin picking through this girl's brain. Because her leader wanted to, and everyone followed the leader. No matter how crazy he sounded.

* * *

><p>Banshee and Hadley were having a staring contest. She grabbed one of his s'mores and took a loud, obnoxious bite, eyes focused on his face as she chewed with her mouth open, hoping for him to cringe at the loss of his delicious dessert. No luck; he grabbed one of hers and mimicked her actions.<p>

The electrokinetic glanced out of her peripheral vision to make sure no one was watching, and grabbed Banshee's hand. He turned beet red, and a split second later, squeaked in pain and withdrew his hand, eyes closing as he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"You… you cheater!" he sputtered, examining the minute burn on his hand. Hadley winked. "No rule against it," she giggled, and popped her last s'more into her mouth, still chewing obnoxiously. Sean pouted. "I'll win next time," he vowed, laughing.

The two exchanged a mischievous smile, and Banshee spoke. "Thanks for hanging out with me after Bree fled, Hadley," he said sheepishly. She shrugged and nodded. "It's kay, Carrot Top," she said cheerfully. "We gingers need to stick together!"

* * *

><p>Both shared a laugh and went up to pay as Magneto fumed in the background. Emma slid into the seat across from him. "Her name is Hadley Wells," she whispered to him. "Brooklyn bred, and she likes turtles, cats, and candy. Any more information?"<p>

Erik shrugged, eyes never leaving the girl with the kitten ears. "Everything," he muttered, making the blonde scoff angrily as she began to relay everything she had seen.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Hadley!" the man at the cash register gave her a high five as she went to check her bill. "Rolf," Hadley beamed, "how's it going?" "It's going good, Hadley, going good!"<p>

As Banshee paid his small amount of money and Hadley proudly waved around her bill, which amounted to zero dollars and zero cents. "The owner wanted to charge you **$19.63** because of the cola incident, but I talked him out of it," Rolf informed her.

She smiled and thanked him and turned to leave when Rolf called out one more thing. "Hey, Hadley! I've worked with you for three years, and I want to know… can I call you Hads?"

Banshee smirked. "Sorry, dude, only I, as her ginger buddy, can call her Ha-"

"Sure, Rolfie!"


	8. CrackerChap

**SO BEAUTIFULLY SHORT. :3 be happy it's just a filler chapter. **

**we're still looking for people to guess the reference last chapter... sorry, artemis, it has nothing to do with megan fox. your reference _was_ rather brilliant, though.**

**and since there are so many people who ship anything that's _not_ Maglectra, we're taking A HADLEY POLL!**

**Just comment in your review which Hadley couple you like best. And some may not make sense. There's:**

**-Hadley/Charles (Charley)**

**-Hadley/Erik (Maglectra)**

**-Hadley/Banshee (Hadshee)**

**-Hadley/Beast (Beastley)**

**-Hadley/Azazel [which Bill/Hippie just came up with...] (Hadzazel)**

**and apparently, Riptide gets no screentime or love or any shit like that. :D also, even if it gets the most votes, Bill is a grumpy self-inserter so she only supports Maglectra. which means that it probably won't happen if charley or hadshee is chosen. i'm trying, you gaiz. D: **

**so anyways, enjoy this stupid chapter that makes no sense.**

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><p><strong>MAGNETO'S BASE<strong>

Magneto was practically turning into The Hulk. He was seething with rage and pacing around the room, while all of the members of the Hellfire Club listened to his rants curiously.

"That stupid ginger boy!" he roared angrily. "He's corrupting my other!"

Azazel raised an eyebrow and put down the book he was reading. "Your other?" he asked dryly, picking up the book and flipping through it.

Erik shot him a glare. "Yes, my other!" he snapped. "My Sparkette!"

He glanced at the comic Azazel was reading and scoffed. "Electrophobia?" he asked.

Raven's eyes widened and she snatched the comic, gaining a "HEY!" from Azazel as she skimmed through it. "Ooh, the new volume," she mused. "Electrophobia is a comic about two female, teenage superheroes who have to make it on their own because their parents kicked them out of their homes," she explained to a blank-faced Magneto.

"And there's a running gag about the two of them having the fear of lighting, which I guess stems from Electra and Phobia combined," Azazel added.

Emma raised an eyebrow. "Two of the recruits for the X-Men use the codenames Electra and Phobia." Both comic book geeks glanced at her. "Really?" Raven asked eagerly.

Magneto shook his head angrily. "Stupid comics!" he snapped. "Stupid everything! Stupid that boy, stupid that redhead chick, stupid this HELMET," at that he grabbed the magenta helm and threw it across the room in disgust, nearly clobbering Angel, "STUPID MUTATIONS!" he roared.

Riptide stomped over and seized the discarded helmet, which had hit the wall and sunk to the ground. He shot the somewhat crazy boss a look and went back to his seat. "Wait," Angel said slowly, "what exactly has your panties in a knot?"

Erik shook his head angrily. "That stupid redhead girl!" He began whacking himself, hissing out words like "get out of my head!"

Angel cracked a grin. "So this is about her?" she asked. When Magneto nodded, she cheered. "I win!" she whooped, and turned to Azazel. "Fork it over, Damian!" He curled his lip in disgust. "Damian?"

"Well yeah, you're like a devil, or a demon, or something, so you're now Damian! Cough it up, dude!"

Azazel growled. "No. My money." "But you lost." "MY MONEY! I was saving up for the next volume with this!"

He reached in his pocket and proudly took out all of the money he had been saving, only for it to be snatched by the girl with wings. "HEY!" he roared.

Emma sat numbly in the corner, muttering swear words. "I think this is the first time a telepath lost a bet," she grumbled angrily.

Raven, who hadn't been paying attention, glanced around and saw an angry Emma, a furious Azazel, and sullen Riptide. "Did we win?" she asked Angel, who grinned and nodded.

Magneto turned around angrily. "Win what?" he snapped. "Have you been taking bets on me? On whether or not I'd mention that stupid girl with the kitten ears?"

"She has kitten ears?" Riptide asked curiously.

"No," Raven said slowly, "we took bets on whether or not you'd fall for her. Angel and I won."

Erik shot Emma, Riptide, and Azazel glares. "So you bet that I wouldn't?" he asked the winners. "No, we bet that you would. And you did." "I DID NOT!"

Emma straightened up and glared. "I beg to differ," she scoffed. "You've been practically stalking her through my telepathic abilities. You want to know everything: where she shops, places of employment, why Hadley likes graham crackers and s'mores so much…"

"Her name is Hadley?" Riptide asked. No one answered him, so he got sad.

Azazel began applauding, while Angel and Raven stared at Magneto, horrified. "What a stud," he said dryly, clapping as he eyed Erik. "I should really take dating advice from you." Azazel shot a subtle look at Raven as he said this, who noticed nothing.

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><p><strong>For whoever wants to know, we got the idea for Electrophobia from the awesome reviewer Louise. :D and it's either turning into a book or a comic. because we're that awesome. so when it's time to publish, demand to marvel. kthxbai. ;)<strong>


	9. Everyone's Getting Locked In

**HI GUYS. Maddyton has to leave in about five minutes so we'll make this quick.**

**#1.) For our contest thing, check a previous author's note that came before chapter 7.**

**#2.) IT'S MONDAY MONDAY I HATE HAVING SCHOOL ON MONDAAAAYS. But it's a picnic so Blitzie's skipping. :D**

**#3.) This is the day after Chapter 8 and Magneto's ranting.**

**#5.) There is no number four, Alex.**

**#6.) Hippie's still in love with Maglectra. But she actually prefers Bralex to her baby's ship. This amuses me. :D**

**#7.) Next part will be up at night. Ohohoho~**

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><p><strong>LE X-MEN MANSION… AT NIGHT<strong>

**OVER 9000**

When Bree ran into Hadley, the redhead was on her way out.

"Where are you going?" the telepath asked curiously. Hadley beamed. "There's a sale on kitten ears at the costume shop!" she said brightly. "I'm getting extras for all of us so we can get food at the Graham Cracker!"

She glanced at Kahlin, who had passed out on the ground last night, shimmering in and out of her invisible form, and shrugged. "Chameleon can buy her own."

Bree giggled. "So where are _you_ headed? Hot date with Havok?" Hadley grinned wickedly, admiring the lovely shade of magenta her friend turned. "GOD NO!" Bree shrieked.

"God no what…?" Alex passed the two of them and smiled. "Hi, Bree, are you still helping me move the mannequins?"

Hadley glanced at Bree and started snickering before the words set in. Bree nodded while Hadley panicked. "MANNEQUINS?" she squeaked. "LIKE THE MANNEQUINS I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IN THE BACKYARD?"

Alex nodded. "There's one with a magenta bucket over its head and wearing a cape…"

"Actually, it's my bedsheet, but-" Bree started slowly…

"IT'S A CAPE!" Hadley roared, and clapped a hand over her mouth. "…I was making them more realistic," she said meekly when both smart-asses raised eyebrows.

Banshee poked his head out from his room. "So _that's _why one is bedazzled!" he chirped. Beast stuck his head out of _his _room just to give the redhead an extremely weirded out look. Banshee pouted. "Whaat?" he whined, and then glanced at Hadley. "Can you buy me extra kitten ears?" he asked.

She sighed. "Fiiine, Seany-Poo."

"**SEANY-POO?"** All of the X-Men, including Chaaarles, who was upstairs at the time, shouted.

Hadley blinked. "I'm just gonna go now…" She fled as if her life depended on it, and Bree and Alex exchanged a creeped out look. "Maybe we should just move the mannequins," she muttered.

Sean was just on cloud nine.

Kahlin was still out cold, but Beast heard a quiet "ouch!" when Hadley 'accidentally' stepped on something suspiciously human-shaped.

As soon as she left, weird things began happening.

**THE LAB**

**A9r9468yt4iyu458573$&*&%$*%&264%%#!**

Beast was doing research in his room, and examining a test tube in a metal container. The container levitated, then launched itself at his head.

When he ducked, it kept trying to attack and dump the… highly acidic and destructive… contents on his head. Afraid, Beast seized a research book and threw it, shattering the test tube and denting the metal. Preventing his death.

Test 1: Passed.

Test 2: Not started.

A click sounded as soon as the test tube shattered, and the blue man's head whipped towards the door. He seized the handle and began pulling frantically.

Hank Beast McCoy was locked in his room and couldn't get out.

And the lock was on the _inside_.

**CHAAARLES' ROOM**

**KAHLIN INCLUDED. EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT SHE WAS OOT COLD.**

After stirring, Kahlin immediately went Chameleon and snuck into Charles' room, hoping to catch the professor while he was changing. He was busy, actually changing, though his pants were already on, and didn't notice the invisible girl.

When she witnessed him replacing his shirt, and saw bare chest, her expression grew dreamy and dazed, and she almost immediately swooned and collapsed onto the ground, the image dancing beneath her eyelids. This made her shift out of Chameleon mode… as Charles wheeled around.

His eyes widened and his lip curled in disgust at this drooling, unconscious girl at his wheels once he realized why exactly she was out cold. "So **not** groovy," Charles muttered under his breath.

Suddenly, his wheelchair shot backwards until his back was parallel with the door. "What the devil?" the professor shouted in surprise as the metal creaked in his wheelchair, and the wheels all turned 180 degrees until they were horizontal and completely useless.

Charles' legs weren't working and his wheelchair was suddenly broken, he was blocking the door, and his only exit was out cold.

Kahlin began to move and her eyes fluttered open as Charles began to yell. "MAGNETO!" he roared. "YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF SICK THINGS, BUT THIS **CROSSES THE LINE!**"

The chameleon was up in a flash at that, shrieking that "no one rapes her Charles but her!" The professor immediately grew quiet. "What…?" he whispered, completely disturbed.

"Oh… nothing!" Kahlin said cheerfully. When she saw his wheelchair, she squeaked. "Charles! Your wheelchair!" She fist pumped enthusiastically and proclaimed that "I WILL SAVE YOU!"

He gave her a dirty look. "Move me and open the door." "Oh, Charles, you're delirious! I think we should stay in here… together… you're in such a bad condition. I think you need mouth-to-mouth!"

**THE BATHROOM**

**URINAL CAKES/GENIE LAMPS NOT INCLUDED**

Banshee was zipping his pants up when he heard the noise. After flushing twice and then washing his hands, because Hadley liked cleanliness and wouldn't hand over his kitty ears if his hands weren't clean, he slowly peeked outside of the men's bathroom.

He heard what sounded like someone banging on a door furiously, and with the force being put into it, he was pretty sure it was Beast. There was also arguing coming from upstairs, which sounded like Creepmeleon and Charles… and her voice was lower than his.

Bree and Alex were hoisting Hadley's projects downstairs, and the one with the bucket on its head kept dripping magenta paint. He, as Hadley's "curly top guinea carrot," would be the one to clean it up later. Damn that paint…

After withdrawing back to the comfort of the pee room, Banshee curled up into a fetal position in the shower. He got cold, and then lost in his thoughts about redheads, kitty ears, and finding new pick up lines. Banshee didn't even notice when the shower head detached itself and went on a path straight towards his head, and knocked him unconscious without a problem.

**THE METAL ROOM**

**MANNEQUINS!11!**

"So I guess this one represents Magneto," Bree mused as she set the bucket-clad mannequin down. Alex glanced at her. "What makes you think that?" he asked. "It has _MAGENTA MAN_ written on its stomach," she replied.

Both shared a laugh as Alex placed down the one spray painted red with kitty ears and a pipe cleaner tail hot glued to it. "Azazel?" Bree guessed with a grin. They checked the stomach, which sure enough had _DEMONIC KITTY_ written in bold, clearly written Sharpie.

The last one was _DEMENTED BUTTERFLY_, meant to signify Angel, but cardboard didn't work out so well when it came to wings.

Alex made a face at the mannequins. "I look forward to destroying these," he muttered dryly, examining the odd bunch: a magenta one, one with cardboard wings, one with red skin and kitty ears, a blue one with the words "BLUE PROBLEM" written on its forehead, and one with sequins glued _everywhere_.

"Wasn't there a sixth person in the Hellfire Club?" Bree asked curiously, scratching her head. Alex blinked. "There's another one?" he asked cluelessly. She smacked him in the back of the head, amused at his silliness.

The two prepared to work with Alex's plasma hula-hoops, because his hips don't lie, and while they were talking about his aim, the door slowly closed itself.

Neither noticed until a small 'click' signified the locking of the door.

"Did you hear something?" Alex asked Bree, utterly confused. She blinked. "I think so…"

They both glanced around and, finding nothing _besides_ the door that could make a random clicking noise, ran and seized the door handle, pulling with combined strength.

"God dammit!" Bree swore, pulling. She glanced up at the ceiling and began to shout. "KAHLIN!" she roared. "GET US OUT OF HERE! I SWEAR TO GOD THAT NEITHER HADLEY NOR I AM ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH CHARLES. AND NEITHER IS ALEX. THAT WOULD BE ODD… BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU, SO GET **OVER IT** AND LET US OUT!"

Alex blanched. "What makes you think Kahlin did it? It was Banshee last time…" "She's Kahlin… and she saw me talking to Charles this morning. This is just her psychotic, Creepmeleon revenge."

**THE DRIVEWAY AND FRONT AREA INSIDE HOUSE**

**KITTEH EARS!**

Hadley was carrying a hugeass bag of items from the costume store and humming a random, rather odd tune as she walked up the stairs.

"GUYS!" she shouted when she opened the front door. "THEY HAD MAGENTA KITTY EARS! I BOUGHT THEM ALL! …And some regular colored ones, but THEY HAD MAGENTA!"

When no one answered her shouts, her face fell. "Guuuys…?" Hadley called, looking around the empty mansion. There were some slight banging noises, but she figured that was Kahlin finally getting her way. Even against her object's will.

After glancing around and putting her giant bag down, Hadley yelled for companions again. "MARCO!" When no one responded, she pouted. "It's no fun if you're quiet…"

As her loneliness began to grow more, the redhead began to call out names. "Bree?" she whimpered as she walked around the kitchen. "Bansheep?

"Hank Beast McCoy? Alexaaaander? Sir Professor Man Charles? Anyone?" She paused and sighed. "Kahlin? You know I'm desperate when I'm calling for YOU! I swear to God gaiz, if you jump out and scare me," she shouted, walking towards the dining room, "I'll-"

"You'll what?"

Magneto McMagenta Man was sitting at her dining room table, hands folded neatly. Next to him was a large bowl of candy, Pedobear style, and a turtle painted brown with a pair of kitty ears glued to its shell. "Surprise," the magenta helmed man said dryly. "I was hoping to talk to you, Hadley."

Hadley, of course, did the responsible thing by shrieking "RAPE!" and trying to run. Her watch, however, kept her pulled back. "I just had to wear the watch today," she muttered.

He smiled and pulled her back towards the table with her watch. "I just want to talk," the metal man repeated slowly. Hadley sighed. "Sure. Start talking. You have ten minutes before I go Sparky on your Dancy ass."

Magneto smirked. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Your power."

"If you're trying to recruit me, you can go fu-"

"-dge enjoy. Thank you, Hadley. But no, I am not trying to recruit you. I want to help train you."

Hadley blanched. "You what?" "I want to train you. You have a gift."

She rolled her eyes. "Chameleon has a gift, can you take her instead?" Magneto shuddered. "God no, according to Emma she's a loony. I can't have any loonies under my reign."


	10. Training? NO, DANCY!

**HAPPY MONDAY PEOPLE. Chapter 10 is not the least crass, due to swearing, oh my godding, and what Charles thinks is Kahlin trying to ravage him. And if it mentions chloroform, please do not get offended. B takes responsibility, but we needed something to keep Charles from helping Bree. And I think that's one of the most legal drugs that induces a knockout. So no offense was meant. I am sorry if you get offended or sad. :(**

**And I don't want to sound selfish or something, but we would like reviews. There are a lot of people who story alert and fave, and that's fine, but we don't know what exactly to do next without reviews and suggestions. Though those tell us the fic is liked, reviews tell us what the people like.**

**Thank you for reading this rather srs author's note, and try to enjoy our double digit chaptah!**

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><p><strong>THE METAL ROOM OF METALNESS<strong>

**Soon to be famous ;)**

After giving up on escaping, Bree swore multiple times under her breath and sunk to the floor, muttering angrily. Alex gave her a sympathetic look while he continued to yank on the door. "It's no use," the telepath said sullenly, "the damn thing is locked."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs, still muttering as she curled up into what many dubbed the fetal position, which appeared to be very popular among mutants. Alex gave up and turned to Bree. He offered her his hand and pulled her back up, which she did reluctantly.

"Can you send an SOS? You know, up here?" He tapped his brain and she gaped. "And I didn't think of this why…?" she scolded herself, tilting her head and trying to read thoughts.

Her virst victim was Hadley, who was still upstairs.

**Hadley?**

Hihi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!

**Where are you?**

MAGENTA!

…**Is that supposed to be a clue?**

TURTLES! ….Ooooh shit, kitty cat. GTG. Dancy's giving me the evil eye. He knows I'm not listening. I'll save you, Lou!

**WHAT?**

Hadley immediately shut down after that, and Bree gaped. "Paging Hadley didn't work out so well," she told Alex. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not gonna ask… how about the professor?"

…**Professor?**

_BREE? Oh, thank goodness you've contacted me! I need help. I'm stuck in a room with Kahlin and she's being creepy and stuff and I think she's trying to kiss me, I'm trying to stay away from her.  
><em>

**And you didn't think to telepath the police why?**

_THAT IS NOT GROOVY! AAAAAAAARRGGGGH! GET OFF ME, YOU CREEP! GET O-_

**Professor?**

**Professor? The hell? Should I dial 911? Helloo? Wait, you're Charles, how can you not kick her ass? She probably has chloroform in her pocket or something, take it and I don't know, be all "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"**

_BRILLIANT IDEA! THANK YOU!_

…**WAIT A SECOND. I was joking! Professor, that's not groovy! You could hurt someone!**

**GOD DAMMIT, YOU IDIOT! I'm so paging 911.**

"How did that go?" Alex asked as Bree shuddered. "I don't even want to talk about it," she snapped. "That was disturbing." He raised an eyebrow. "What happened?" "It involved Kahlin. That should give you enough answers."

Alex laughed and turned away from the door. His feet got tangled up with one another and he came crashing down, swearing nonstop as he hit the floor. Bree, a few steps behind him, tried to walk over and help him up.

"Damn it!" she shrieked as she tripped over _Alex's_ feet and landed on top of him.

They just stared at each other for a few minutes, faces blank, and then Alex smiled weakly. "Well," he muttered, "this is awkward."

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><p><strong>THE DINING ROOM<strong>

**And we promise that nothing in actuality happened with Kahlin and Charles. She's currently sleeping peacefully and he's fixing his chair with his pants still zipped.**

When he saw she wasn't paying attention, Magneto seized his helmet, took it off, and placed it on Hadley's head. "There," he laughed triumphantly. "You can't be heard. You're all mine."

Hadley blinked. "Can't they hear your thoughts now? And I aint yours!"

"Why would anyone think to search for my thoughts?"

"Touche, Magenta Man. Touche."

Magneto made a face at the word 'magenta' but continued on. "I am serious about wanting to train you," he insisted. "You need the control."

The electrokinetic was siriusly offended. "My control is just fine!" she snapped. "And plus, what do you think I use Bansheep for?"

"…So you two aren't dating?"

She looked siriusly even more offended. "I don't want to know where you came up with **that** conclusion," Hadley snapped. "Bansheep is like mah brother. Even if when I shock him all he does is scream… and not in the good way, either."

A look that was a cross between aroused and disgusted crossed Magneto's face, and Hadley scoffed. "I am _so_ tempted to call Bree up here to kick you in the balls," she snapped.

Magneto smiled. "I think she's a little busy," he said lightly. "Oh my god, you **are** a pervert!" the redhead accused, disturbed, and Magenta Man shook his head. "Not like that, no! I think she's a little busy _trying to unlock the training room door_," he corrected.

Hadley's face lit up. "My mannequins live?" she cheered. "What mannequins?" Magneto asked. She turned a pink that matched the helmet on her head. "Oh… nothing."

Her expression suddenly grew suspicious. "Wait," Hadley growled, "first off, you locked my BFF in a metal room? She's claustrophobic! Haha, that's funny, Phobia is phobic. Er… anyways, you locked my BFF in a metal room-"

"She's with her boyfriend," Magneto added.

"Oh, that's fine. I better be godmother when they emerge. Anyways… what do you get out of this?"

Magneto smirked and ignored the question. He handed her a card with an address and a time on it, plucked his helmet off of her head and put it back on his, and turned it to walk away. He waved a hand and grinned at Hadley.

"The doors are all unlocked, and if you want to train, meet me here." He turned to leave, cape swishing behind him, and she just stared, dumbstruck, as he vanished into the night, before quickly sprinting to go save her FRENZ. And Chameleon.

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><p><strong>BACK TO THE METAL ROOM<strong>

**No babies are being made. Sorry Hadley, call dibs at a later date.**

When Hadley opened the door, she expected both badasses to launch themselves at her in a very out-of-character manner, giving her hugs, thanking her, and saying they owed her.

What she _didn't_ expect to see was Bree and Alex rolling around on the floor, making out heavily. Both of them had messed up hair and Bree's top was slipping while they kept macking.

"Oh… my… god…" Hadley whispered, before turning away, shielding her eyes and shrieking. "IT BURNS!" she wailed. "I NEED BRAIN BLEACH!"

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><p><strong>Next chapter, Bralex goes on their first date while Bree tries to explain to a suspicious Hadley that no babies were being made and that clothes stayed on. Ohohohoho. Wanky. ;)<strong>

**Maglectra likes kicking each others' asses, and Hadley falls moar in love...**

**...with the word Bansheep. **

**See you Thursday. Toodles!**


	11. Shooting and Shiny Things

**HI GUYS! Hippie abandoned me for her future matrimonial partner.  
><strong>

**It's a long story, so don't ask. But shes's getting married soon. 3 There will be "pin the wheelchair on Chaarles Xavier" so Kahlin isn't invited.**

**And I'm trying to get her to SLEEPOVER again, because I want to skip the talent show tomorrow. Even if my teachers are singing, I heard my teacher's a bitchin' singer.**

**C u later, we're gettin pizza. c: enjoy chappie 11. and by the way, Uzis existed. we do our research.**

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><p><strong>THE KITCHEN<strong>

**The honey badger don't care, the honey badger don't give a **_**shit**_**.**

Bree's face was bright red as she waited in the kitchen. The telepath was decked out in a fancy dress and nice jewelry, though when she crossed her legs at her chair, Hadley caught a glimpse of shorts. And she was wearing sneakers.

"I swear," Bree protested, face still a shade of Hadley's favorite color, "nothing happened in there!" The redhead raised an eyebrow. "You two were rolling around kissing like there was no tomorrow," she said dryly. "Okay, that happened," Bree corrected herself hastily, "but that was it, I promise!"

Hadley huffed. "Sure. Can you do me a favor and stock up on brain bleach for the baby shower? I'm really going to need it." She cracked a small grin. "Honestly, I find your boy toy somewhat attractive, so lucky both of you. You're both badasses, he's hot, he finds you hot, now go make hot babies that like hula hooping."

Bree rolled her eyes. "We aren't making babies!" she snapped. "Just going on a date. And yeah. He's hot. So back off my hottie, bitch!" She giggled and wiggled her eyebrows at Hadley, who snorted in amusement.

"Did somebody say Bansheep?"

The redhead boy swaggered into the room, flashing both girls smiles, and stopped when he saw Bree decked out in her mostly-but-not-quite fancy gear. "Going out, Bree?" he asked lightly, winking. Hadley stuck her tongue out at him. "Stop hitting on her, Ban, she's going to make babies with her love toy!"

Banshee blanched. "Making… babies?" he squeaked as Bree smacked Hadley on the shoulder.

"Who's making babies?"

Alex strolled in, wearing a semi-formal outfit, though with sneakers like Bree's. He flashed her a grin. "Hey, Baby B, you ready to go?" She blushed and nodded and stood up. Hadley giggled. "Baby B? So you guys _are_ planning ahead for the babies!" She pouted. "…I want a cute nickname…"

Sean glanced at her. "Ginger Snap?" he suggested, which earned him a slap to the back of the head, and that slap zapped him by mistake. While he was squealing in pain and clutching his head, Hadley was shooting him glares. "No," she muttered, "it sounds stupid."

Alex and Bree had made a getaway, and were halfway out the door when Hadley remembered them. "Hey, wait!" she called to her friend's back. "Where are you going?" "Shooting range!" Bree replied cheerily, running out and slamming the door behind her.

**RANDOM ABANDONED BUILDING**

**I wanted it to be at Mickey D's (which did exist) but nooooooooooo, it **_**had**_** to be all creepy. Well, since Magneto's been stalking his crush at a diner in his full costume, I don't think he does subtle well…**

Erik was pacing back and forth, helmet in place on his head. "She's not going show up," he muttered sadly. He was waiting for Hadley, his trainee, to show, but it was a half hour past the time he gave her and she still wasn't there.

The metalkinetic had just about given up all hope when she stumbled over, soaked and covered in what appeared to be soot. Her face was blackened and smoke was billowing out from her clothing. Magneto glanced over, relieved that she was okay, but did a double take when he saw the state Hadley was in.

"What the hell happened to you?" he snapped. She staggered back, muttering that "I fell into a puddle," before falling backwards and fainting.

When Hadley woke up, Erik was staring at her curiously. "You shocked yourself that badly when you came in contact with water?" he asked slowly. She nodded. "I can drink it and stuff," she said hoarsely, "but when I come in contact with it when I'm not expecting it… or prepared…"

Magneto blinked. "So you _can_ shower?" Hadley nodded, disgusted. "Of course I can. If I couldn't, that would just be disgusting, Mag."

"Mag?"

"Magenta."

He raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't it also stand for Magneto?" "No," Hadley replied coolly, "magenta suits you better."

Magneto sighed and shook his head. "Can we start training now?" he snapped. Hadley blinked. "So I'm not here to just chat with you?" she asked sarcastically. Erik's brows flattened into a scowl as he stared. "No, you're here to train!" he barked, and paused. "That was sarcastic, wasn't it…? It seems you hang out with that snippy brunette a lot."

Hadley's face lit up. "Yeah!" she said cheerfully. "Bree! She's like my super best buddy! In fact," she paused for a second, "her birthday's coming up soon. I should get her a necklace!" She beamed. "I should get Alex a necklace too, to represent their love and baby making… I SHOULD MAKE EVERYONE NECKLACES!"

Any pretense of training was forgotten as Hadley whipped out a notebook and a pen, and began scribbling things down. "Now, they're called Bralex," she muttered, "so Bree can get this part and Alex can get that one…"

She glanced at Magneto, who was staring, dumbfounded. "Aren't you going to help?" Hadley snapped. "Wait, can you control gold?" He shook his head, and she beamed. "Perfect! Gold it is!" She scribbled that down in her notebook while Magneto sighed.

"Now what should I have…?"

"Sparkette."

"Sure, why not, thanks!" Hadley beamed as Magneto had another idea.

"Can yours be made out of silver instead?" he smirked at this idea.

At this question, Hadley raised an eyebrow. "Why?" she asked curiously. Erik shrugged nonchalantly. "I hate gold," he said casually, "and if I have to look at it whenever we're training, I would like to look at a prettier metal."

She blinked. "Okay!" she chirped.

**RANDOM SHOOTING RANGE**

**Because every first date starts with guns. Ohohoho. And is at a random place.**

Bree swore under her breath. "I'm not hitting these right!" she complained.

As a beautiful first date, the Bralex couple went, at Bree's request, to shoot targets with guns. Although, Bree insisted that she wanted an Uzi instead of a regular gun. "They're kickass!" she complained when a nearby shooter gave her an odd look.

Alex was having the time of his life shooting things and listening to his romantic interest yell at people about deadly weapons. Talk about sexy. She was so sweet and aloof, and a complete badass… in her own, Bree-like way.

She, after growing rather angry when people kept shooting her dirty looks, snatched her gun from where Alex was holding it, and aimed. Her anger, it appeared, kept her focus perfect, and she shot the bull's eye with no problem whatsoever. Alex let out an approving whistle as all those who mocked her gaped.

The brunette winked and casually withdrew her gun, aiming it at the gawking spectators, who shrieked and ran off, terrified for their lives. "Heehee," she giggled.

**BACK IN THE RANDOM BUILDING**

**Can I have a necklace too? It would say Blitzie for me, and Ginger Snap for the soon to be **_**Mrs.**_** Hippie. ;D**

Hadley was curled up on the ground, scribbling in her notebook.

Erik had given up, and was peeking over her shoulder to read her writing. His face was practically buried in her hair, which she didn't really care about.

The list she had written down was:

**Beast- KING KONG!**

**Bansheep- Bansheep**

**Creep- Doesn't get one.**

**Chaaarles- Proffy**

**Dancy- Magenta**

**Meh- Sparkette**

**Bree-**

**Alex-**

Magneto could only see part of the listing for Bree and Alex, as Hadley's hand was covering the code words for their necklaces; it was impossible to make out.

He plucked his helmet off of his head and put it on hers, and when she asked why, he told her it was so no one could search for her in case they knew she was out.

The real reason?

When he got it back, it smelled like coffee, and it reminded him of her.


	12. Bra Necklaces and Arguments

**Bree's skipping again. Not really, I would though if I didn't have my DAMN ART PROJECT DUE TODAY! D:**

**And Hippie wants Jon Stewart to be the priest at her wedding. And she found a sassy gay BFF for herself. And so did I. :D except mine's a jock who hates me. :c**

**She also says I write Magneto too creepy. That's how he _rolls_ in this crackfic, woman!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>THE MANSION<strong>

**The honey badger has gone to therapy. He still doesn't give a shit, but while munching on his king cobra, he says he apologizes.**

"What the hell, Hadley?"

Bree was eyeing a necklace with the word _"Bra" _written in fancy letters. "I call them team necklaces!" Hadley chirped, clipping hers, the only silver one in a sea of gold, around her neck.

"This says Bra." Bree was staring at the shiny object like it was offensive. Hadley nodded. "And Alex has _"Lex" _on his! Like Bralex!"

The brunette blanched. "Why does he get the better part while I get BRA?" she snapped. Her redhead best friend sighed. "No," she explained, "you have Bra. Make aaaaah sound. It's like when you see a kitty, you go "ahhhhhhh" but when you see the demonic kitty you go "aaaaaah". It's quite simple, really."

Alex was standing nearby, laughing his ass off at his girlfriend's necklace. "Can we trade?" he asked her, but Hadley grabbed Bree's wrist when she went to hand it over. "No," Hadley said stubbornly. "Keep it."

Sean glanced over at her. "Why is your necklace silver?" he asked curiously, pulling at the "Bansheep" in bold lettering around his neck. Hadley flinched. "I… like silver?" she said lamely. He got closer and began examining it.

"What's on your necklace?" he asked curiously. "H-h-hads…" Hadley stuttered nervously. "Hads doesn't start with an S," Sean noted. "…It's backwards?" Hadley lied. "There's no p in it at all…" Bansheep continued obliviously.

Hadley squeaked. "GOTTA GO!" She ran out of the kitchen and as Bansheep stared after her curiously, Bree's look was more suspicious. She subtly tilted her head and gaped when she figured out what was wrong with her friend.

"HADLEY ROSE WELLS!" Bree stomped over to the front hall and seized Hadley, who was just about to flee outside. "What did I do?" the redhead squeaked as Bree dragged her up to her room. "Let's have a talk about what I just read, _Hads_." The brunette's teeth were gritted as she yelled at her best friend for this.

To make sure no one heard their discussion, Bree both locked the door and put a wall around her mind, and even reached out to Hadley's, just to be safe. Charles had been helping the telepath a lot with controlling her power.

Hadley was cowering in a corner when Bree turned around. "So Hadley," she said calmly, "can you explain to me why you were about to sneak out and meet Magneto?" Hadley squeaked. "Ummmmm… he offered to train me, and I needed the help so I said yeah as long as no one was hurt or anything I just needed training."

Her rambling made Bree raise an eyebrow. "And your necklace?" she prompted. Hadley hung her head. "It was his idea…" she whispered. "I don't know if he can control silver, I know he can't with gold…" Tears filled her eyes and she began to wail. "I'm such an idiot!" she sobbed.

Bree felt bad and gave her friend a hug. "You may be an idiot," she said quietly, "but I'm pretty sure he's about to win World's Dumbest. No one messes with my friends and gets away with it." She smiled at Hadley and patted her on the back. "But you need to go there and tell him to get lost."

"Can I give him his necklace while I'm there?" Hadley asked, and when Bree nodded, she smiled determinedly. "Got it, I'll be back."

* * *

><p><strong>THAT ABANDONED BUILDING AGAIN<strong>

**But it's not random anymore. D:**

Magneto was pacing back and forth, frowning as he waited for Hadley.

She showed up a minute later, scowling at him. "First off," she opened his hand and stuck something in it, "here's your necklace. It says McDancy on it. Second, I quit."

Hadley turned around and began to stomp away when he asked why. "Because I don't like sneaking around with my friends not knowing," she said sadly. "What would Bansheep do if he knew I was frolicking with the enemy?"

Erik shot her a glare. "Stay!" he snapped. She shook her head. "I'm leaving!" Hadley continued to walk off, but Erik lifted a hand.

Her necklace pulled her backwards, cutting off her air and choking her, until she was close enough. Magneto grabbed her and pinned her against a wall. "Who put you up to this?" he hissed. He was so close, Hadley could feel his chicken breath on her face. "Did you have grilled chicken for dinner?" she asked hastily, trying to fan the smell away.

Magneto growled. "Who put you up to this?" he repeated. "Bree? Was it that girl, Bree?"

Hadley's blank face gave it away and he laughed triumphantly. "Aha! Well, listen here, Sparkette," he leaned in even closer and she shuddered, "you're going to continue training, or Bree will… accidentally fall down something. Drown. Burn to death. I don't care. But something will happen if you walk away on me."

She squeaked and lashed out, smacking his helmet by mistake. When Hadley howled, his manic grin grew wider. "Stay, Hadley," he whispered, "don't let that happen to your friend."


	13. EUREKA!

**A.N. WE ARE BACK! Hello friends. We know you have missed us just as much as we missed you. You Probably missed us more because...well We are just awesome. Let's go over something's. Blitzy and Hippie congratulate 2vamp4u on winning the contest! YAY! Hippie the third Wants it known that this chapter takes place about 4 days after the last one. As for Hadley's anger directed at a certain magenta clad someone...don't mess with ElectraPhobia friendship! Blitzy has gifted you with...A NEW OC! Remember her name. She shall return! Last but not least, we tried to make the 1963 things to make sense really we did. It just backfired. Last Hippie is writing the A.N. because Blitz is chilling in Narnia. Blitz does it soooooooo much better.**

**Every time you don't review Charles loses a chunk of hair. First the sparkle now this. What is the world coming to?**

* * *

><p><strong>SO THIS ONE GIRL, SHE LIEK MESSED UP MY TARPS. D: SO SAD, RIGHT? AND THIS HAPPENED ALL THE WAY BACK IN NINETEEN OF THE SIXTY THREE.<strong>

"…So you gave her directions?"

Sean leaned back in his chair and eyed Bree cautiously as she sipped her soda. "Yup," the telepath mused, batting her straw back and forth with her tongue. The look on her redhead friend's face made her giggle and accidentally start choking on her Sprite.

Alex snickered as Bansheep gaped. "You just magically found the directions to Magneto's evil lair, and then gave Hadley said evil directions?" Both at the table with him doubled over laughing. When Bree looked up, red-faced and highly amused, she had a single word to reply with.

"Yup."

The look on Banshee's face set her into another fit of hysteric giggles as Alex reached for his last s'more, which Sean eyed jealously. "If you know the directions," he asked haughtily, not doing a good job at keeping his tone serious, "then why haven't you led us over there to defeat Magenta Man?"

She shrugged. "We'd all get our asses kicked. And you," Bree jutted her chin out towards Sean, "would probably get the worst of it, Sir I Love Hadley A-Lots."

"I'd totally kick as much ass as I could," Alex interjected happily. His girlfriend grinned. "I'm sure you would, sweetie. I'm sure you would."

He laughed, and then paused. "Wait… so why exactly is Hadley heading over there?" Bree paused. "She has something to ask. And I told her to say hi to Emma Frost for me. I invited her to the reunion."

Both boys did spit-takes at that. "You invited one of our nemesises to the family reunion?" Banshee wailed. Alex wiped his mouth… and shirt… and table… with a napkin. "It's nemeses, Bozo Jr. And what gives? Since when are you friends with Frostbite?"

Bree winked, and avoided answering the question by sipping her soda until a large platter of pizza was suddenly set down at their table, something she had noticed in her peripheral vision.

Sean eyed it cautiously, hoping he would get that for free because it was Kitty Ear Wednesday. "What's with the pizza?" Alex asked the waitress who had set it down. "We ordered another plate of s'mores, Miss."

She beamed at him in reply. "Sorry, sir. I just got this new job here, and I'm trying to make this new type of dessert pizza famous. It's pizza dough, and instead of cheese and sauce, it has Boston Cream donut filling on top of it, and then it's drizzled with hot fudge."

Both Bree and Alex moved to grab slices, while Sean's face darkened. He turned to the waitress in disgust. "Listen, lady, I don't know who yous thinks yous is…"

Her smile faltered for a second before she plastered it back on. "Oh, my name's Aurora. Hello!" Sean sighed. "But I wanted s'mores!" She pouted. "I'll give you your next plate free." "I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THEM FOR FREE! IT'S KITTY EAR WEDNESDAY!"

Aurora tilted her head in confusion. "No, that's gangster Wednesday," she told him carefully. "It's not Kitty Ear 23rd for another three weeks." Alex paused. "Hadley told us it was Kitty Ear Wednesday," he replied. Aurora shrugged. "Rolf likes to change things up," she chirped. "He loves seeing people walk in on random days with kitty ears. Next week, it's Dolphin early-to-mid afternoon all week, so he hopes to see people in kitty ears and dolphin fins!"

Banshee's face darkened. "I don't like this Rolf dude…"

Bree tapped her lip with a finger. "Isn't Hadley's favorite ex-boyfriend named Rolf? He's the freaking awesome one, right?"

"_**WAIT, WHUT?"**_

* * *

><p><strong>I'M NOT RELATED TO LUCAS TILL BUT I WISH HE WAS BECAUSE HE'S A MAJOR FCKING HOTTIE. IN 1963. WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT. AND HANNAH MONTANA.<strong>

Magneto thought today was going to be a somewhat normal day. With his magenta helmet and a nice, hot cup of coffee and discussing how to take over the world.

Instead, when he and the others returned, they came face-to-face with a screaming redhead and another redhead, arguing relentlessly.

"What the hell is going on here?" he barked as his allies resumed their usual positions: Angel in the lounge chair, Azazel grooming his devil horns, Riptide being canon fodder, and Emma trying to write something at the table. They all ignored the two shrieking at each other.

Hadley stopped in the middle of her argument with Mystique to smile at Erik. "Hi, Magenty!" she chirped, "I need to borrow your Blue Problem. Man… lady… thing." Mystique bristled at that. "I'm not a man!" she snapped. Hadley held up both hands in defense. "Hey, all I'm saying is you could be one if ya wanted to be. I'm not against that. I'm an open-minded girl. I accept many beliefs.

"I just _really, _need you to pretend to be me!" She got down on her knees, in prayer position, and stared up at Mystique with a pout. "Pleeeease!"

Angel raised an eyebrow from her perch, cocktail in hand. "Why do you need Mystique to pretend to be you?" she asked. Hadley shuddered. "Chaaarles has scheduled a freaking family reunion for all of us, so we can meet families. My mom and baby brother are going."

"And the problem is?" Emma interjected coolly, scribbling something down on her paper. Riptide tried to get a close look, but she crystallized her hand and punched him away. "…So take the most mutant hating people ever-"

Magneto interrupted Hadley's statement with a "been there, done that, killed them all. Why bring it up?" She shot him a cold glare before continuing. "Take the most mutant hating people ever, multiply that by like over 9000 or something, and stuff it in a closet so the evil can intensify. That's my mom right there."

Sipping her cocktail slowly, Angel choked on her drink in amusement. "And your brother?"

"Little Wells?" Hadley smiled. "My baby brother Henry is awesome. If you try to handcuff him and push him onto the ground, he complies!" She clapped. "He's the good guy in all of this! Such a pretty, pretty pony!"

Riptide giggled and everyone else just stared at Hadley like they were viewing one of the major evils of the world. She glanced at Mystique. "So that's why I need you, Blue Problem! I'm sure Magenta McDouchebag Pants will agree! He values my life more than yours." Her malicious words ended with a smile.

Magneto cracked a sheepish one. "…She's right." "Wait, what?" Mystique demanded. Hadley blinked. "I am? Sweeet… you're still in my no-no book."

Ignoring a pleading look from his blue friend, Erik sighed. "Fine, she'll do it. But it's going to cost you…"

* * *

><p><strong>CAN A GIRL BREAK HER PHONE WITHOUT HER FRIEND BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE? I HOPE SO. <strong>

"…Or maybe his name was John Lennon. I can't remember."

Bree was continuing to ramble about Rolf as Banshee's eyes bugged out of his head, Aurora tittered, and Alex tried not to choke on his manly root beer.

"It was _some_ intelligent crazy songwriter British guy with cool glasses, I know that…"


	14. Oh Family, Where Have You Gone

** Hi, everyone! It's BlitzPrinzessin (Bree.) Hippie is in Maryland for the weekend, and so she gave me her fanfiction password so I could upload this chapter.**

**It's pure, pure crack, basically. This one's my favorite so far. It has Beatles references, Taffee who belongs on Maury, Emma the Frostypants, and in one chapter I'm going to make a Blogger Beware reference. You've been warned.**

**Since we didn't finish the chapter Thursday, I was assigned the job of pulling an ending out of my ass, and so I did. If you don't like it, cool story bro. It's a crackfic. It's supposed to be stupid.**

**The next chapter is the Halloween one, and so we have to figure out what exactly is going on and what everyone is dressing up as. I'm tempted to pull something stupid and make Bree dress up as America or Belarus. Because SHE CAN. Even though Hetalia never existed back then.**

**So yeah. Also, my birthday's in a few weeks, and if something is posted either late on the 28th or very early on the 29th, we were working on a chapter while everyone else at my party sleeps. kaybye.**

* * *

><p><strong>THE MANSION'S FRONT YARD<strong>

**By the way, America is the hero. And Poland has a pony army.**

"Bree!"

Emma Frost, ice queen extraordinaire, was walking up to the mansion with a large box in her arms. She cradled it in the crook of her right as she used the left to wave to Bree, who was standing outside.

The two telepaths met in the middle of the pathway and Emma held the box out to her friend. "I was wondering if you could hide these in your room or something until the next copy is done," she said. "Azazel keeps snooping, I'm afraid he's going to find them, since he hasn't had the money for awhile."

Bree accepted the box, and, after opening the lid slightly to check what was inside, smiled. "Thanks, E," she said cheerfully, and then paused. "…You're staying for the reunion, right? I think my dad and I will need the extra help."

Emma nodded solemnly. "From what I heard, you'll really need it."

* * *

><p><strong>SOMEWHERE INSIDE THE MANSION. YAAAY, PARTY!<strong>

…**Did you know that my mom was born in 1963? IT'S A SIGN. :D**

Beast hugged his parents, who seemed highly amused by his fluffy blue fur. They were all chatting and getting along happily… unlike most of the other mutant parental units.

Alex's were fine, smiling at their son as he gestured to his girlfriend across the room.

She, however, was having trouble.

Emma was lurking in the background to help her friend whenever necessary, but didn't honestly know when to step in.

Bree's mom was chattering happily, hands on her hips, right next to her exposed stomach. Clad in a tube top and a miniskirt, she was truly a sight. Her father, on the other hand, was a man in a suit who looked a lot like Bree, except with two brown eyes… and the obvious fact he was a male.

"So…" Emma tried to step in. She glanced at Bree's mom. "What's your name, again?"

The woman smiled widely as Bree covered her face in her hands. "I'm Taffee Thompson. That's T-A-F-F-E-E. It's my stage name on the pole, and I loved it so much I changed my name legally!"

Emma's eyes widened. "…So what was your name before that?"

"Taffy, T-A-F-F-Y. The E-E is so much classier, don't you think?" She leaned against her husband, whose facial expression implied he wanted to be anywhere but there at that moment.

"I'm Baxter Walters," he said quietly, holding a hand out for the ice queen to shake. She did so and then looked at Bree. "I thought your name was Bree Thompson?"

She shook her head. "Bree Thompson-Walters. I usually just use the Walters part. Hell, I have no idea why I chose Thompson for that stupid college!"

"…Oh. You're 18, right?"

Bree nodded once.

"…So then how long have your parents been married?"

Baxter Walters had never looked more annoyed in his life than when he was spitting out the answer for Emma. "EIGHT. TEEN. YEARS."

Taffee beamed. "That's right! We got married when I was 14 and he was 18!" She patted her husband on the shoulder. "He thought I was a legal adult, but nope! I was just hotter than any girl my age!"

She grabbed her husband and began tugging on his hand. "Come on, Baxy, come on, boi!"

And with that, Baxter Walters and Taffy/Taffee/? Thompson vanished into the small crowd as Emma and Bree stood there, identical disturbed expressions on their faces.

* * *

><p><strong>THE KITCHEN<strong>

**Foooooooooooooooooooooood!**

Kahlin was beaming, standing next to her mom as she talked to Charles' happily. Both Charles and Mrs. Charles looked uncomfortable, and exchanged sympathetic looks as the two they were with talked.

"So, Kahlin," Mrs. Xavier smiled at her, "where's your dad?"

The psychotic young adult bit her lip and tapped it with her finger. "Oh… I think he's off somewhere where there's not very much light. He sent me a letter once. He said that the food sucked and his roommates scared him…

"Y'see," Kahlin began as her mom's eyes started to dart around the kitchen, "Mommy didn't like Daddy very much. She wanted to wait… she didn't really want it to go yet." The chameleon threw her arms up in the air happily, ruining the melancholy moment. "AND THEN I WAS CONCEIVED!"

Mrs. Charles, who had a hand in the cookie jar by now, dropped her precious snickerdoodle as she gaped at her daughter's lack of tact. Charles looked uneasy, with a hand pressed to his temple, swapping stories with Bree as he tried to block this out.

His mom stared at Kahlin for a minute before throwing her arms around her happily. "I like you!" she exclaimed, and looked back at Charles. "Char-char, you should marry a girl like Kahlin and give me pretty grandbabies!"

* * *

><p><strong>THE FOYER<strong>

**Swimmyswimmyswimmyswimmy… I think someone forgot to feed him today. **

Magneto was standing at the door, with a box, smiling as Hadley glared at him. "I brought pie…?" he said sheepishly, holding up the French Silk. Nearby, Banshee stared at it longingly and lost track of their conversation as he pictured spoon-feeding Hadley gobs of pie while telling her his favorite line: "You like pie, _I_ like pie, we should go have more bites to eat and talk about it sometime!"

The redhead electrokinetic was glaring at Magenta Man as he stood awkwardly. "Where's Blue Problem?" she asked quietly, her tone going from normal cheerful Hadley to deadly Hadley. "S-s-she got a cold…" Magneto stuttered. "I came in her place." He held up the box again. "And I brought pie."

Without waiting for Hadley, he let himself in and set the box next to Alex's goldfish, who was just swimming happily in the foyer. The mutants placed him there strategically so they would never forget to feed him. But he had been forgotten today.

The pie just sat there as Magneto stood awkwardly, staring at Hadley while she glared at him. "You tried to poison her, didn't you?" Hadley snapped. "That's why she couldn't save me from my mother! You evil girly man, you! You probably don't even care about finding a cure for breast cancer! _YOU JUST WANT THE PINK HELMET_!"

A single cough made both mutants look over, where a woman with vibrant red hair and a small redheaded boy were standing. The boy beamed when he saw Hadley, but the woman glared.

"…Crap."

Hadley turned and made an attempt to escape, shrieking that "I'M GOING TO DIE! I'M DOOMED! THE BLUE PROBLEM HAS MADE EVERYTHING MORE PROBLEMOUS!" but Magneto seized her arm before she could do so.

The woman stared at her daughter before speaking. "Hadley." The electrokinetic stared at her mom before replying coolly. "Mom." She glanced at her little brother, who was now writing in a small notebook. "Henry!"

He looked up and smiled. "Hadsee!" He glanced at Magneto. "Is that your boyfriend, sis? He's wearing such vibrant pink… are you sure he likes girls?"

Fiona Wells glanced at her son, then her daughter, and then her eyes traveled all over Magneto. "Hadley can actually get a date with someone normal?" She let out a piercing whistle. "First, it was that weird kid in middle school, his name was Paul or something, and he had that bowl haircut that drove me mad… then right before high school, that idiot… I think it was Ring… oh, I don't remember, but he was a real idiot. And _then_ in high school, for **six and a half years **it was that kid who always told me to call him Rolf even though that wasn't his name… and wow." She smiled at Magneto. "I must say, you're much more attractive than those other three. Is your name George, by any chance?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No, it's Erik." Hadley did a double-take when he introduced himself with his real name, which she herself didn't even know. She thought it was Magneto. "But I'd prefer it if you call me Magneto," he added.

Hadley's mom smiled charmingly. "Oh, okay. Why Magneto?"

At this point, Hadley interrupted. "Okay, it was great seeing ya mom, we have an extra room if Hen-hen wants to stay over for a few days so I can work on his game with him have a nice life you're not invited to my wedding or baby shower in the future oh by the way Bree's gonna be the future baby's godmom thought I'd let you know now before I kick you out of my life for good bye!"

The doorbell rang suddenly, startling all of them, and Taffee Thompson sashayed in to answer it, before Bree tackled her mom and pushed her away as she unlocked the door.

"Rolf!" Bree accepted the five pizzas he had balanced in his hands, placing them on the floor for a minute, before giving her new friend a hug. "Thanks so much for this, I know the Graham doesn't usually deliver."

He smiled. "It was the least I could do, Bree, after all those nice tips and everything. And plus, you and Alex were the only people who gave Aurora a break…" He then shot a glare at Sean, who was salivating over the pizza _and_ pie now. "You heard her when you ordered, right? 'Oh, I'll have a Boston Cream Pie.' ' OMG OMG ROLFIE ROLF ROLF YAY SOMEONE LIKED MY PIZZA I'M SO HAPPY!'" He sighed and shook his head. "Almost as bad as Hadley when I got her those kitty ears for her birthday senior year.

"HEY!" Hadley glared at Rolf, brain not processing that this was her _BFF ex-BF at the door_. "I don't know who you think you are, Mister, but… Oh!" She tackled him happily, swinging up so he ended up carrying her in a bridal hold, before announcing the obvious. "Rolfie's here! Come in, come in, Rolfie!"

She hopped out of his arms, seized the anchovy pizza, and ran off with it. Taffee immediately woke up and began chasing Hadley for the pizza, demanding she get a share because she's not allowed anchovies on the job.

Bree just stared at her mom's retreating figure. "Dad!" she called over to where her father was talking to Emma Frost. "Are you _sure_ I'm related to her?" She waltzed over to the two to converse, leaving Rolf with Magneto, Sean, Henry, and Fiona.

Magneto and Sean just glowered at the ex-boyfriend of the girl they liked, while Fiona averted her eyes. Henry flung himself at Rolf, squealing happily. "John Lennon!" the little boy chirped, hugging Rolf. His mom shot him a glare and he paused. "Sorry, Rolf… I forgot you don't like John Lennon." Henry pouted.

Rolf laughed and patted Henry's head. "It's okay, Henry. How's Pretty Pretty Ponies coming along?"

Henry beamed. "Oh, it's great!" He opened his mouth to continue, but was shoved out of the way by Magenta Man, who glared at Rolf. "You're Hadley's ex-boyfriend, correct?"

Rolf nodded. "Yep, that's me. We dated for a very, very long time." He smiled, and then tilted his head. "…You're that stalker guy who sits in that dusty old booth near the bathroom! The one who likes making spoons float when he's bored!"

Fiona blanched. "Wait, what?" she screeched, finding it hard to believe that the handsome young man was another mutant. "Damn it…" Magneto muttered. "…Maybe I should have forced Raven out of the house even with that cold of hers."

The awkward silence was made even more awkward when Hadley's voice rise from the dining room where she was yelling at Taffee.

"BOO, YOU WHORE, THIS IS _MY_ PIZZA. PHOB ORDERED IT FOR ME ESPECIALLY, SO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. GO HIT ON THAT HUSBAND WHO DOESN'T LIKE YOU."

* * *

><p><strong>If anyone gets offended by Kahlin, I'm quite, quite sorry. But not everything can be happy ending; we do have srs moments once in awhile.<strong>

**Henry is based off of Hippie's neighbor-type-person thing who we're pretty sure is in love with me. Not sure if that's going to pass on into the story.**

**Taffee is indeed a stripper, and her husband is based off of Baxter from Thoroughly Modern Millie. Idea came from Aurora. You go, Aurora. **

**If some of you somehow didn't figure it out, Hadley dated all of the Beatles. No explanations, figure it out for yourself. (:**

_**YOU JUST WANT THE PINK HELMET.**_** Inspired by all of the people who wore pink this week for breast cancer. I don't own any pink that's not my black-pink-and grey button down and that was in the wash when we were supposed to wear it. ._. **

**I love that quote, also. BOO, YOU WHORES. I think it's from Mean Girls? Hate that movie, love the quotes. **

**And Alex, Beast, and Charles have tiny roles. Sorry, guys. :( Kahlin actually had a role, which was a shocker, and Azazel was mentioned. We're only forgetting demented fairy and forever alone. Maybe next time. Tschuss~**


	15. Author's Next

_Hello to all of the fans of this monstrosity fic-like object. It's Bree, since Hadley was logged in yesterday when we submitted our new story, and allowed me to tie up all loose ends with this thing, though requested that I don't kill everyone off in an explosion and then leave Henry to die of a spider bite. I _was_ going to do that, you may want to thank her since every character has now been spared. Damn._

_If you haven't read Exceeding Limitations, I'm repeating my explanation. If you have already, too the fuck bad. I'm repeating it anyways since I don't want to do my lab report for Bio._

_When we came out of the theatre last June, our idea was originally quite similar - OCs join X-Men, Magneto is a twat, and shit happens along the way. However, this one was more serious and had a legit plot, where this story we actually ended up publishing is just ridiculous crack. And it's bad when _I _say it's bad, because I adore crackfics. So very much. They're the Pinkie Pies of the fanfiction world. Or the North Italies. I'd say the Frances due to the fact he's quite a butt monkey, but all the lemons are France. Anyways, our story sucked. The original fifteenth chapter was written, and I was considering giving it to you all out of pity, but instead I'm giving you an author's note._

_It all made me ashamed to call myself a writer. And as someone whose ambition is to publish a book before I hit 21, that really hit hard. I get it, it was funny. But it was stupid, absolutely ridiculous, I felt as if we poked fun at problems (such as Kahlin's stalker tendencies and the fact that she was a rape baby.) So I apologize to those of you who... actually liked it, but we will not be continuing it and are writing a new version, a more well-written, more serious one with an actual plot line. Thank you for reading this. Screw the TL;DR, I has fanfics._

-_Bree_


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